#higgs monaghan x reader insert | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

roguelov · 4 years ago

Text

Something Blooming

Summary: Higgs Monaghan stumbles upon a botantist!prepper and soon a relationship sparks

Note: My first writing in forever woooo! Anyway this was a request from eons ago and I apologize to whoever sent it (I lost it but remember the request but i’ll keep looking for whoever sent it in) and so here it is now almost a year later sorry but please enjoy

Word Count: 5k

*****

Inhaling the world, he could smell the change. The plants that are dead or dying, the rotting corpses of animals, the misery that lingered in the air and clung to every human. Higgs knew the truth. In simplest terms, the world - this horrid abomination of a land - sucked. Ever since the death stranding, nothing was persevered. Nothing was sacred anymore. Life changed. Life transformed into these things of nightmares. BTs, time fall, BBs, void outs, DOOMs, Bridges, Fragile Express, Porters, Preppers, and the list continues to go on in a world that collapsed and tried to cling to the past but somehow only became a twisted version.

Higgs did what anyone could do: survive. He survived his family, he survived the wilderness, he survived using his DOOMs, and survived and survived and survived. Living was for ordinary people. He was given a task, given power, to do what must be done. This world was stuck. It needed a reset. And he was willing to make the choices, willing to do anything. If he needed to be the bad guy then so be it, he was Higgs Monaghan leader of the terrorist group known as the Homo-demens. If the world was cruel then he would be too.

On a day to himself, he strolled through the wooded areas near Port Knot City. He didn’t despise the leadership role he found himself in, but he was human enough to know when he needed a break from the chaos of underlings and stress of planning. It was usually of him to disappear with only a crackle in his wake. His feet carried him while his mind wandered aimlessly. He stared up through the treetops seeing a mute blue sky. No clouds, no sense of any approaching time fall. Not that time fall or BTs were a real problem for him these days.

He huffed and kicked at the ground. Steel toed boots connected to the ground spraying up dirt and rocks. Boredom was a common feeling in Higgs. Boredom, dread, anger, sadness, all those lovely emotions. But he didn’t have the luxury to dwell on them. He had his mission, his task. What more could a man ask for?

A twig crunched in the distance.

Higgs’s head snapped towards the noise. Ducking behind a tree, he peered through the thick maze of the condensed forest. Off in the distance was a person. Their visor up hiding their face. No, it wasn’t a porter. Far too little equipment, or cargo to be a simple porter. The person however did seem to have a destination in mind. Higgs watched as they effortlessly weaved around trees, leaping over small creeks, and hiked up and over boulders. He followed easily sticking to the shadows. An image of a hunter and its prey played in his mind.

Then without warning the person stopped in the middle of the woods. They eyed a small, almost insignificant, patch of greenery and quickly pulled off their backpack. Digging through it, they pulled out a small test tube and plucked a few blades of grass placing it gently into the tube.

Higgs cocked his head. Grass?

The person put the tube of grass in their backpack then walked on ahead again. Only to stop minutes later at a small stream. They once again shook off their backpack pulling out tubes and collecting small plants, soil in the area, and a vile of water.

Higgs rubbed his face in frustration. He clearly picked a quack head to waste his time on.

The person pushed back their visor as they lifted up a tube with a small plant bud. Higgs froze. With the sunlight streaming through, this person appeared almost angelic. No, angelic wasn’t right. Angels don’t exist in this world. But, this person, you, were … warm. A warmth not felt in ages since the beginning of this cold dark nightmare.

You smiled at the sample - this tiny bud glanced over by all. It was the start of life. Life in this new changing world. You placed the tube into a holder inside your bag. You already collected as much as you could. You were a botanist looking to research and understand both the evolution of plant life and how it is affected with time fall since the start of the death stranding. Time fall obviously aged everything it touched so this forest was always changing and it was fascinating to see life continue on in these new cycles.

You shrugged your backpack on and continued on your way home, to your bunker. You’ve been walking all over today collecting as many samples as you could carry. As well as just getting out to breathe in the fresh air. You loved the sun rays on your face, loved smelling the floral and cedar in the air especially right after a time fall, loved hearing the water rush as birds chirped overhead.

Higgs watched frozen in place as you walked away. He thought of following after you, but he didn’t. Couldn’t. As if you were a mirage and the second he closed in you would disappear, be taken, from this awful world. He turned around in the opposite direction back to his campsite. With one glance over his shoulder, he saw your body fade into the thick woods. He sighed then blinked out of existence landing in his tent ready to play his role of god.

However, your face haunted his nights. You always appeared in a halo of light. You would smile kindly at him before dashing off. And without fail, he would chase after you not knowing why or really caring why. Soon he found himself taking more and more breaks in the forest in hopes of spotting you. Initially, he didn't. He almost gave up when you appeared one day whistling a random cheery tune. From then on, he saw you more often.

He realized early on that you were probably some scientist given your test tubes and odd collection. And although you did collect some plant life that only accounted for a small fraction of your time out. Most of the time you simply just took walks. Yes, a normal everyday person decided to trek out into this crazy environment just to simply get out. Not that Higgs entirely blamed you, the mere thought of those confining concrete bunkers always sent a shiver down his spine. So, here he was watching you as you explored the area going to old spots or new. You went everywhere your feet carried you, and you didn’t care as long as you saw the world. While other times, you appeared to have a side job as a porter carting supplies or other unknown things to and from other nearby shelters. And some days Higgs simply wouldn’t see you at all whether it was on his part or yours.

So finally, after a few weeks, Higgs decided to finally introduce himself.

After walking for a few hours, you plopped down in the damp grass near a creek. Your boots kicked up the wet gravel as you skipped rocks and occasionally whistled tunes. Tunes from music before the death stranding. You twisted your body to the side and scoured for a new rock. Your fingers dug into the gravel, below into the mud and dirt trying to find the perfect flat rock. Your nails and hands caked in dirt which was honestly nothing new. After finding the perfect rock, you swiveled back around ready to skip the rock when you caught something in your peripheral. Beside you on a boulder off to your left sat a man. A man in a militia outfit and a red BB attached to his chest. Greens, greys, and blacks covered him like the forest at night. But there were also flecks of gold. As if stars twinkling through the treetops on said dark night.

He was reclined back on one of his right hand. His free arm laid over the knee of his left leg which was tucked in towards his chest while his right leg extended out over the cool smooth grey boulder. His face, on the other hand, was blocked out by the hood of his cloak. With a quick once over, he appeared to be a man who commanded power. Stature. Who was this mysterious man?

“Whatcha doin’?”

His voice was deep with a soft twang.

Your heart rate sped up. Fear jolted through you only for confusion to smother it. A deep unwavering confusion. A dozen questions flew through your mind. Who was this man? Why was he here? Was he here to possibly harm you? Or did this odd stranger really just want to have a conversation? Realizing the long silence, you stumbled out, “Oh, uh … skipping rocks.”

“Skipping rocks?”

“Yeah?” You winced internally. Saying that out loud sounded down right ridiculous.

He shook his head. “So you ventured out here near BT territory to just skip rocks?”

Your face began to warm up, “Well … well if you word it like that …”

He chuckled finding it interesting how you fumbled your words.

Frustrated, you huffed and skipped the rock which unfortunately sunk straight into the water.

“Not the best rock skipper, are ya?” He smirked.

Your face was hot both with embarrassment and this rising anger. Who the hell was this man?

He continued, “So is that all you do with your time? Come out to this shitty world to skip rocks? Or do you like dancing with death and want to take a chance with a BT too?”

You puckered your lips trying to find your restraint, “I’m a botanist if you have to know so I also come out here to collect different plant life samples and research them.” Seriously, who is this guy?

He rose his hand as a sign of apology. “Sorry let me rephrase that. You come out into this shitty world to collect grass and nearly get caught by BTs and then occasionally you’ll skip rocks.”

You opened then closed your mouth then mumbled, “Well if you put it like that I sound fucking crazy.” You glanced over at this man. “So what about you, mystery man?”

The man tilted his head slightly and you caught a glimpse of his face. Light facial hair shaded his pale jaw and chin. His sky blue eyes, rimmed with black, connected with your own. He stared at you for a minute. Unbeknownst to you, he was completely enthralled. You were something, someone, that he believed doesn’t belong in this world.

He cleared his throat looking away. “Higgs. My name is Higgs, and what do you mean me?”

You smirked realizing his cool facade cracked for a moment. “Well, Higgs, what kind of crazy are you? Clearly you’re not my kind of crazy to come skip rocks and collect grass.”

He chuckled, “Honey, I’m all kinds of crazy that you wouldn’t want to know.”

“Try me,” you countered.

He blinked and looked back over at you.

Your smirk melted into a genuine smile. “(Y/N)’s my name by the way, thanks for asking.”

He laughed shaking his head.

After this encounter, you and Higgs met more often. Sometimes you waited for him at that creek, or sometimes he would just appear next to you as you walked through the woods. He told you he had DOOMs, obviously not the whole extent of his powers but the basics such as teleporting and sensing/seeing BTs. Initially, you were impressed with his skill but, later on, if anything you became more annoyed by it. Mainly because it always managed to scare you half to death when he suddenly appeared next to you. Higgs, however, enjoyed it immensely and didn’t see it ending any time soon.

Days turned to a week. A week then turned into a month. And one month shortly became two. Then three and so on. Your friendship with Higgs only continued to strengthen. Sometimes you would see each other for days or none at all. It never bothered you. You were busy with your own life and research as well as your small delivery service. And you knew Higgs had his own life to live. Now, of course, you knew he was part of that terrorist group, the Homo-Demens. You weren’t completely dense. Given his unusual outfit and how you knew a base of the group was close by were all indicators. You just didn’t know what role he played and frankly you didn’t want to know.

Luckily, today was a day where you were both free after days of being separated. It was the middle of the afternoon, the air cool under the shade of the treetops with a light breeze blowing from the north. You and Higgs were at the creek side. The typical, and frankly only, meet up place. Instead of talking about nonsense or telling jokes, you were rambling on and on about plant life and how the time fall accelerates the cellular process. Higgs unfortunately asked what you’ve been up to as of late which spiraled you into your research and everything you knew. Higgs typically tried to avoid these topics but sometimes he simply couldn’t. But, he didn’t mind that much. Even if he only understood about a third of the words coming out of your mouth. He had no intention of stopping you any time soon. You were always so animated and excited by your discoveries especially your theory on how time fall could possibly bring back extinct plant species. In all honesty, he found it adorable.

One time, he did comment on it.

“Sweetheart, you are really cute when you’re all worked up over this plant stuff,” he said leaning forward, his chin resting in his hand.

You cut yourself off mid-sentence. You whipped your head over as your face grew hot at the time. “Well, it’s basically my job, my-my life.”

You quickly tried to cover your embarrassment and continued on with your rambling. However, like the tricky predator that he is, Higgs noticed. Noticed that little weakness. He made a mental note and saved that discovery for another time. Maybe more experiments will need to be done, he jokingly thought to himself.

However, in the middle of your rambling today, thunder clapped. You stopped and glanced up at the darkening sky. Higgs glared up at the sky. With a snap of his fingers he could stop it and in all honesty he was about to but you spoke up.

“We can go to my bunker and stay there until this passes over. It’s not that far from here.”

Higgs blinked.

Without hearing his answer, you stood up and started walking in the direction of your home. Higgs shook himself out of his trance and scrambled up following after you. When the thunder rumbled louder, time fall began sprinkling down. You pulled up your hood and darted off. Higgs cursed under his breath and chased after you.

An odd feeling of familiarity coursed through Higgs. But, he ignored it. He needed to keep up with you.

He had to admit you were agile. And he knew why. These woods were your backyard. You knew them well enough to know the quickest route home. Down a hill, you rounded around at the bottom of a cliff to see your bunker, your home. There was a tiny greenhouse outside with one side sheltered from the time fall while the other side endured it. A little experiment you set up a while ago. You wondered how it would change today. Your bunker was also mostly covered by its surroundings like the trees and bushes as well as vines that slowly crawled up its walls encasing it.

Higgs skidded down the hill and landed behind you. Taking in the sight of your home, he spoke the first thing that came to mind, “Why am I not surprised it looks like this?”

You turned your head looking at Higgs who strolled up next to you. “Meaning?”

Higgs raised an eyebrow at your idiotic question. “Meaning what else would I expect from a person who plays around in grass and dirt?”

“I do not play -“

“Sorry, sweetheart, examine dirt and grass.”

“Do you want to come inside or not? I could just leave your ass out here. Let your body waste away and become one with said dirt I examine?”

Higgs smirked. “You wouldn’t.”

“I don’t know, maybe that’ll be my next experiment. Does human remains act as a good fertilizer?”

Higgs chuckled, “Honey, we both know I’m way more entertaining alive.”

You hummed as you strolled towards the entrance. “Debatable but you sure as hell would be less annoying.”

Higgs sucked in through his teeth. “Damn. That hurts.”

The two of you stood inside the mouth of your bunker now covered by the raining time fall. You took the few steps down the inclined ramp and pulled back your hood. A keypad glowed next to the heavy metallic door. Punching in the numbers, the door popped slightly open. You turned to Higgs before you entered.

“Now please don’t make any stupid comments.”

Higgs cocked an eyebrow.

“I mean it. Or you’re fertilizer.”

He pressed a hand to his chest with mock hurt, “I’m wounded you think I’m so awful.”

You gave him a pointed look.

“Alright, cross my heart I won’t make any dumb comments.” He paused with confusion. “What’s the problem anyway? Bad decorating skills?”

You stared at him, at his blue dazzling eyes. The color of cornflowers on a sunny spring day. Every time you looked at them all you could think of was spring, of flowers in full bloom. You teared away from them and mumbled, “Sort of.”

Pushing open the door, you walked in with Higgs following closely behind and the second his foot stepped in he thought he was transported to a world before. Plants in unique pots, some of them refurbished bowls and cups and some of them actual clay pots, hung from the ceiling. Plants from herbs and spices, to mosses, to cactuses, to flowers. As his eyes traveled from above to below, he realized there were even plants in pots on the ground. Miniature trees and ferns strewn about.

With the entrance in the middle of the bunker’s floor plan, the living room was off to the right, while the kitchen and dining room was off to the left. And plants practically littered every square inch, but it wasn’t packed or claustrophobic, it was just perfect. Higgs’s eyes wandered off to the left of the kitchen to a glass door leading to a lush garden filled with vegetables and fruits. He even spotted two long wooden desks side by side with beakers, tubes, computer, and a microscope. Papers scattered all over with notes scribbled down. Your workstation. Your workstation in your indoor greenhouse.

Of course, it’s in there, he thought.

“Damn you really do have a green thumb,” he mumbled before he tried to stop himself.

You glared slightly at him.

He raised his hands in defense. “What? It wasn’t stupid. It … it was just a simple observation. A, uh, compliment.”

You hummed ‘uh-huh’ then walked towards the hallway going behind the kitchen to your bedroom to remove your overalls and muddy boots.

Higgs pushed back his hood and plopped down on the couch in your small, yet cozy, living room. Your furniture was made from a dark wood which compliments all the greens. Summer and spring were jammed into this bunker. And he honestly didn’t expect anything else. It was you. Bright and lively. Warm and welcoming. And … and just nice. He removed his gloves and gently caressed the leaves of a fern by the edge of the couch.

“Are you going to keep touching my plants or do you want a drink?”

Higgs snapped his head over towards you out of your overalls and in sweats and a shirt. You were in your kitchen with a hand on the handle of your fridge. He cleared his throat and yanked his hand away. He mumbled a yes. Why did he feel so weird? He supposed he had never been in your home before but there was something else. Something more. He glanced over to you as you poured two glasses of lemonade, lemons courtesy of your lemon tree.

Radiating, he thought.

That’s what it was. You radiated in here, in your home with all the life you helped grow. It was pieces of you scattered all over. No wonder it was so cozy. So captivating.

“So you really grew all of these yourself?” Higgs asked.

You turned around with two glasses full, “Yup. I mean you don’t see anyone else around here do you?”

He chuckled, “No I guess I don’t.”

You plopped down on the other end of the couch and handed the drink over. Higgs quietly thanked you and took a small sip. It truly was one of the best things he had lately. Perfectly sweet and sour. He hummed in satisfaction to himself then set the drink on the coffee table.

“So all of these,” he gestured to the endless amount of plants, “is just for research purposes?”

You shook your head, “No, I also have a delivery service for all my fruits and vegetables and my herbs and spices as well as delivering some flowers or just other plants in general.”

“People pay you for flowers?”

“Yeah some do.”

“Huh.” His eyes focused back on the array of plants. He supposed he could understand wanting some color in these grey block cells.

As Higgs stared off at your collection, you stared at the snarky golden skull masked man. A habit you formed. You noticed early on how one sided he was. He would ask you multiple questions which you would kindly answer, but he never returned the favor. Never talked much about his past or what he does. You tried asking about his odd ... markings and clothing, overall aesthetic, but he brushed you off.

“Gotta stand out in these shitty times, make a name for myself,” was what he said.

You watched as Higgs continued to be entranced by your plants. A faint smile twitched on his lips. You mimicked his tiny smile. “Do you want a flower?” You asked softly.

Higgs’s head whipped towards you. “What?”

You repeated yourself, “Do you want a flower?”

“Huh no I -“

“Ok I’m going to stop you there because the only answer I was accepting was yes.”

He chuckled. “Oh really?”

“Uh yeah really.” You smirked.

“Is this the part where you also claim your undying love for me too?” He asked leaning towards you. With one of his arms draped over the back of the couch, his hand crept closer. His thumb skimmed your shoulder causing a shiver to crawl up your spine. Higgs smirked to himself. Another successful experiment, he thought.

Playing it off, you scoffed rolling your eyes, “No this is the part where I give you a flower so you stop making weird googly eyes at them.”

He scooted closer whispering into the shell of your ear, “Nah I still think it’s an undying love part.”

Teasing touches fluttered over your skin. From his leg that bumped into yours, his thumb that now drew circles on your shoulder, to his breath that tickled your neck, to his cornflower eyes that burned into you.

“Think all you want Higgs,” you muttered.

You jumped up and walked, as calmly as possible, into your bedroom where a particular plant rested. Grabbing shears along the way, you delicately snipped the stem and strolled back out. You stepped up to behind the couch as Higgs watched you the entire time.

You bent down resting your forearms on the back of the couch as your fingers twirled the stem of the flower, specifically a white carnation. Your eyes connected with Higgs. The close distance noted in your mind.

Taking a deep breath, you asked dramatically as you batted your eyelashes. “Will you, Higgs Mongahan, accept my flower?”

He chuckled. “It would be my honor, darlin’.” He plucked the flower from your hand. His calloused fingers skimming your own. “So what is it anyway?” He asked lifting up the flower to the light.

“Carnation.”

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “And why this flower in particular?”

“Well I just find the petals to be chaotic much like yourself and back before the death stranding it was said that white carnations were a symbol of good luck.”

“You think I need luck?”

“Higgs, sweetheart, you need all the luck in the world. It’s pure luck that I haven’t strangled you myself let alone some other poor unlucky soul who has the pleasure of meeting you.”

He laughed throwing his head back. “You got me there.” Shaking his head as his laughing fit died down, he then placed the flower in his lap unsure where else he should actually put it.

“No dumbass,” you reached over and took the flower. Before Higgs could utter a word, you gently grabbed his chin making him stare at you as you carefully placed the flower behind his ear. You snorted at the sight of a terrorist with a full bloom flower tucked neatly behind his ear, “See perfect.”

Higgs had a dozen witty comments on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t utter a single syllable. Your smile and laugh shook his world. Both of you were blind to how the other affects each of you so greatly.

“I should make you a crown,” you giggled. “I bet your little buddies would like that.”

Higgs blinked, “Buddies?”

“The Homo-Demens.”

His eyes widen a fraction in surprise. You knew? Since when?

Seeing his reaction, you rolled your eyes, “I’m not stupid Higgs I know you work with them.” You gestured to his getup. “I mean you’re not exactly hiding it with this ... unique choice of clothing -” a giggle bubbled up “- but can you imagine, all these hardened people ready to wreak havoc and there you are in the middle with an array of colorful flowers adorn on your head.”

Your laughing fit continued.

True to what you said, Higgs wasn’t hiding it but he never confirmed it. He never spoke of what he did and if he did it was through vails of vague wording. Mainly, he told stories of his old porter days and other things he found funny or interesting. Like Egyptian lore. He really liked talking of the practices and beliefs of the Egyptians. He found it so fascinating. And for you, you liked seeing him smiling, seeing him so relaxed and carefree, as he talked about something he was interested about.

However, one thing popped into his mind.

“So, you don’t care?” He asked. Almost hoping for a certain answer.

Your laughter died down as you stared at a more serious Higgs. Something you hardly saw and if you did you knew to mimic the tone.

“Well, no … well yes a little bit, well -“ you sighed gathering your thoughts. You sat down and twisted your body to face him. “Look, no I don’t care. It’s your business and if you want to tell me great if not then I won’t pry. But do I trust them and agree with what they do? No. Obviously. But do I trust Bridges either? Hell no. All I see is two questionable sides battling it out and honestly I just want to do my thing in peace and pray no one gets hurt in general.”

Higgs nodded as his eyes drifted away. “Yeah, okay.”

His tone was soft. You weren’t sure how he felt. You reached out and squeezed his thigh grabbing his attention, “Hey I’m not here to judge, okay? And I won’t. Do you think I’m honestly perfect too?”

Yes. He thought you were perfect in every way. You could do no wrong in his book. You were his beacon, his anchor, in an ever raging storm. Instead of voicing all of that, he said, “And what would a nerdy botanist do?”

With a deadpan expression, you replied, “Sell drugs.”

Higgs squinted his eyes. “You do not sell drugs.”

“You don’t know that. I could have a whole secret room where I grow certain plants and then use them to manufacture drugs to sell and trade to make an insane profit.” You paused as you reclined back pulling your hand from his thigh. “I have a whole crew of people to operate and I happen to be great at silencing those who oppose me.”

Your expression was truly throwing Higgs off. You smirked and cocked an eyebrow. A way of saying, ‘You’ll never truly know’. Higgs then laughed shaking his head, “I don’t think you do, sweetheart, because if you did then I’d be pretty pissed for not being a part of it.”

“Selling? Or recreational?”

“Both.”

You both laughed.

From then on Higgs always carried a flower in one of his pockets, whether it was a white carnation flower or another random type he couldn’t remember the name of. Even if you tried drilling all the types of flowers and plants, both the scientific and the common names, into his head. He’ll never learn. Or maybe, he simply chose to lie just to hear you talk about them all over again.

Whatever it may be, Higgs now had a piece of you with him at all times. And unknown to him, he now smelled of spring. Of fresh flowers blooming after a rainy day. Would anyone tell him or point it out? Never.

Higgs appeared lighter, happier than ever before in his life. He loved going to your home and enjoying fresh lemonade and sometimes tea. With all of your fresh food, you had the best drinks and to be honest the best meals too. You were an amazing cook which always filled Higgs’s stomach and heart.

But what Higgs loved most of all was snipping one or a few of your flowers, with your permission of course, and giving it to you for you to wear the rest of the day. Just like today. After a long day, the two of you, both in sweats and t-shirts, were sprawled out on your living room floor on top of a plush rug. Petals littered all over the floor. Your arms and legs in star fish positioned as Higgs sat at your side gently placing flowers in your hair. Some stuck in while others fell out. His fingers gently caressed your face as he rested the flowers in your hair. Your eyes were closed as you enjoyed this soft, tranquil, moment.

Higgs smiled to himself.

With your eyes closed, you whispered, “I hope you know I will be billing for all the flowers you use.”

He chuckled. “You said that last time.”

“I know, but just reminding you.” You cracked open one eye. “I won’t give you the bill until it’s very high and wildly expensive.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

You smiled closing your eyes again.

Higgs realized in that exact moment he didn’t want to survive anymore. No. He was tired of it. He wanted to start living. Living with you by his side. Whether it was as friends or partners, he couldn’t care, as long as you were there in his life.

#death stranding #death stranding imagines #death stranding oneshot #higgs monaghan #higgs monaghan imagine #higgs monaghan oneshot #higgs monaghan x reader #higgs #higgs x reader #death stranding higgs #reader insert

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thepaperpanda · 4 years ago

Text

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~ || Part I

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: Smut

Words: 6305

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: This is little gift for our birthday girl! @porgsandtheirplace We hope you will like it!

It's cold outside. A fearfully cold wind blew from north, it quickly became unbearable. It indicated unstable weather. You felt it was about to rain.

With no memory of your former life, you walked along the muddy path, dressed only in a skintight suit and combat boots, with an old, leather jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You heard something that sounded like thunder, so you ran forward as you spotted a mountain in the east; it didn't seem too far and you knew you had to make it there.

As soon as you entered the cave, the timefall started pouring down and another thunder rumbled loudly among the mountains.

Breathing shakily, you got further into the cave, only to sit on the stone floor and pulled knees under your chin, shivering all over your body. You let a sigh, noticing the steam of your breath forming in the cold air.

Higgs forced two members of the Homo Demens to go and find a lost package filled with explosives. Apparently, Fragile’s people were shitty enough to lose it in the middle of nowhere.

"You sure this is the place?" A voice from the depth of the cave asked.

"Higgs said so," another male voice snapped back.

"Well, we better find that shit or our asses will go as high as the fucking sky and I am not keen on it."

Two men emerged from the shadows of the cold corridor, they both stopped and looked at you.

"Well, well! And who do we have here?,” One asked and the other chuckled.

"A little, lost girl? Did you get wet outside?"

You quickly got back to your feet, a cold shiver ran along your spine and you trembled all over your body. "Leave me alone, I didn't do anything," you told them and took two steps back. "I'm just sheltering from the rain. Don't hurt me."

Men looked at each other and laughed loudly.

"Oh, don't hurt me!," One mocked and looked at this friend. "Shall we not hurt her?"

The other man walked up to you to take a good look at your features.

"I don't know. She is nice and young, we could have some fun with her or just throw her outside and watch her die. That would be fun, too," man hummed and grabbed you by your hair, pulling you closer to the entrance of the cave. "What do you say, sweetheart? Is it time for a shower?"

"No, no, no!," You begged and immediately sank to your knees. "Please, don't hurt me, I didn't do anything! Please! I'll do everything, just don't let me die!"

Your heart was beating strongly within your chest.

"You will do anything? Oh, really? That's good to know, little one. This is your lucky day then!," The guy said, pulling you further into the cave, away from the deadly rain. Another man immediately joined him.

"You see, little one, we haven't had a woman in some time. You could be useful, I wonder what ya hiding under these clothes," Other man said, easily opening your jacket.

"We will have some fun and we will kill you after."

"No, please don't...," You breath hitched and you turned your head aside when one of the men tried to kiss you. You tried to reach your backpack that was still attached to your back to pull your handy knife out.

Higgs appeared in the cave out of nowhere as always. He easily found the missing box and went to find the two men who worked for him. "The fuck you two are doing? Is it really so hard to find a damn thing?!," He roared at two men who immediately stepped away from you. Higgs frowned looking at the additional person. "Seriously? You are busy with a girl but not with the task you had to perform?," He growled, throwing the box at one of the men. "Take it to the camp, pronto."

When both men scrambled away in fear of their leader, Higgs offered you a brief grin. "Ah! They ran like cowards which they are but they are kinda useful. Who do we have here?," He asked, grabbing your chin to take a look at your face.

You held your breath back but let him grab your chick. "I didn't do anything, sir... I just sheltered from rain when they...," You went quiet. "Don't kill me... Don't kill me, please," you closed your eyes shut.

"I will break those fuckers’ necks for not letting me know they found you here, girl. Despite you aren't the bomb we looked for, they should have fucking let me know," Higgs growled checking your face. "You look healthy, pretty even. How about I give you a shelter, huh? What do you say for that?"

You swallowed hard and quickly nodded. "Would you be so kind to shelter me? But... How will I repay?," You asked hesitantly. "I don't have much. Everything is in my backpack," quickly pulling stripes of the backpack off you handled it to him.

Higgs took your backpack and shook it a little, it was really light what meant you didn't own a lot. He was getting more and more curious about what's your story, how a creature like you ended up in the middle of nowhere with nothing. "Nah, we will see what we can do about it, girl. Now, c'mon, you don't want to end up outside, right? Let's get you to a dry place," he shrugged, tossing the backpack to you.

You grabbed it and pressed to your chest, nodding. "Promise you won't hurt me," you asked with a shaking voice.

Higgs chuckled and bowed in front of you. "Crossin’ on my heart, if I have one," he shrugged and pulled you closer. In the blink of an eye, both of you were in some kind of a camp, in one of the tents. "Welcome to my camp. Make yourself at home, girl," Higgs almost sang, moving away from you. "This place will be safe for you as long as I say so."

You sank to your knees. You didn't know how in a blink of an eye you found yourself in another place, in a huge tent filled with maps, documents and other things. You gagged yourself, you almost vomited and your head spinned around. "How...?," You whispered, trying to cool down.

Higgs sighed and rolled his eyes, looking at your pathetic state. "You know, it would be fucking amazing if you would be kind enough to not fucking vomit all over my floor," he slowly pulled you up. "Breathe, girl, I didn't bring you here so you die on me."

You nodded, still pressing the backpack to your chest. "I'm sorry....I just... It made me dizzy. I'm sorry," you whispered and thanked him for helping you back on your feet.

He patted your cheek with a grin on his lips. "Atta girl, ya see? It's not that hard. You don't need to keep that so close," Higgs took the backpack from you, using just a little bit of force. He placed it next to the cot. "I need to go now. You can rest and try to not die here, just in case."

You gave him a nod. As soon as he vanished leaving a little cloud of dust, you took a closer look around the place you found yourself into.

The whole place was flooded with the light coming from a lamp hung from the ceiling. You walked closer to a board on which you found some handwritten notes about Bridges and Fragile companies. Only then you started realizing that you found yourself in a very wrong place, which triggered another shiver.

To warm yourself up, you rubbed your shoulders and palms. Indeed, you weren't exposed to the deadly rain so in that matter you felt slightly better but still you kept in mind what his comrades had wanted to do to you.

Not knowing what to do, you sat in the corner of the tent, once again pulling knees under your shaking chin. You peeked outside and sighed sadly noticing the rain was even stronger than before.

Higgs returned to you as soon as he was done with his other shady businesses. He didn't really expect to see you, half asleep, sitting in the corner with knees pulled to your chin. "You know, I work with many idiots but I hoped for you to be the smart one here, girl," Higgs said simply, taking a seat on the desk. "So, sweetheart. Not to be nosy and all that shit but why the fuck were you there? All alone? In such a place? And what's your name anyway?"

As he woke you up, you rubbed your eyes briefly. "I...," You whispered and got up. Rubbing your shoulder, you swallowed and nodded. "I don't remember how I got outside. I can't remember anything before the moment I woke up on the grass. And... My name's Y/N."

"Well, that's fucked up," Higgs summed up, laughing at the short story and answer, then he grabbed your backpack and simply opened it to dig through your belongings. Soon he pulled out the lace panties. "Oh, you are a noughty girl, aren't you? That's fucking cute," he said with a mocking laughter.

You observed him with wide opened eyes, huge blush crept into your cheeks as you watched him playing with your panties. "You shouldn't be touching them... It's my property...," You instructed him.

"Like I would fucking care what your property is. You are in my domain, sweetheart. I wonder how would you look in these," Higgs giggled and continued to dig in your backpack.

You turned your head aside and looked outside; it was still raining. "You're Higgs Monaghan, am I right? I heard some people talking about you."

"That's me, in flesh and bones," Higgs nodded, looking at your bra before stuffing it back inside the backpack. "And you are Y/N. Girl out of nowhere. Now I think what the fuck am I going to do with you. It's not like you are some kind of killing machine and I am not keen on keeping useless people around. At least you have a pretty face."

"T-thank you...," You whispered and walked to him to get your backpack. "I know how to hunt... At least I feel like this."

"So? I don't need a huntress. I don't really need you around at all, honestly." Higgs shrugged. "But you are a pretty face, it's fucking nice to have someone like you around but you can be sure you will get stuff to do to repay for my generosity."

You didn't know how many days had passed by but you had a feeling it was more than a week or two.

You still didn't get used to the fact you were stuck with those people, with more of them giving you nasty glances as soon as you were leaving the tent of Higgs. You were doing your best to ignore all kinds of taunts. Focusing on sketching all the things you saw around, you were spending all day in the nearest forest.

The whole group had mixed feelings about you.

Higgs brought you here, for no reason actually. You just wandered around, doing nothing when others worked their asses off in one way or another.

"Hey kitten! Maybe you would come here and be useful for once! You don't need to be only Higgs' cum sack!," Someone yelled and a few other people laughed loudly. It was normal for others to bother you on a daily basis.

You were passing them with your notebook and pencil in your hands. The last thing you'd wanted was to get in any kind of argument with these people but the comment drove you mad.

Stopping your steps you pushed your hip forward and placed your hand on it, looking directly at the man who dropped the comment. "Oh? Are you talking to me?," You asked the measuring dude with a cold glance from bottom to the top. "I'd even consider this but... Looking at the small bulge in your pants," you tapped your lip with a finger, "I'll pass."

"Well, she is not wrong!," Someone added and everyone laughed.

"Would you look at that! Our girl finally grew some fucking balls! Finally! Some more time and you will be almost as nasty as I am." Hands were placed on your shoulders, it was no one else but Higgs himself. He looked at everyone in front of you giving them a silent warning to simply return to their duties. "Don't mind those fucker, they have never seen a woman for that long before," the leader hummed, petting your hair like you would be his favorite.

You almost purred into his touch. All the rare moments where he was showing you his attention were making you happy and more confident. "I know I am rather useless," you told him as you moved forward, "But it was me who noticed the porter convoy a few days prior," you reminded him; you tried to manifest that in some moments you were being useful.

"Oh, you sure did, sugar. That’s my girl," he said, randomly resting his chin on the top of your head. Higgs stood with you like this until he realized you were holding a notebook. He quickly grabbed it to take a look. "And what do we have here, huh? Do we have an artist in the camp?"

When he placed his chin on top of your head, you blinked and giggled. As he took your notebook out of your palms, you desperately tried to get it back. "Don't look! It's mine!," You growled looking at his skilled fingers that were moving pages. When his eyes stopped at one point, you came up to the conclusion he found the drawing of him.

Higgs looked at drawing, trying to remember the moment you could even draw it.

"I am an ulgy bastard. I fucking love it! We have a fucking talent among us, I need to say," he tapped the page. "Flatters me."

You smiled lightly and ran with your glance to a group of other men who were staring at the situation.

"The fuck y’all are looking at? Jealous that I get the lady's attention? Get your asses to work," Higgs barked out at everyone. "I swear, you are the only decent person here," Higgs mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You glanced back at him; you hated the fact he was always wearing the hood on. Due to this, you weren't ever able to finish your drawing and deep inside you bet he was a handsome man.

You managed to slip the notebook out of his hands. "Hope to see you later," you smiled at him briefly and walked a few steps away. "I'm going to try to help your people around but I swear, none of them will try anything, I'll break their noses." After these words you walked off.

Higgs made a few big steps and after reaching you with ease, grabbed your arm tightly. He shook his head, clicking his tongue with a smile. "Nah, you aren't going anywhere now, sugar. I need to talk with you," Without even listening to any of your complaints Higgs simply forced you to go to his tent with him. He set you in the middle. "You think I am blind, girl?" Higgs almost growled, walking around you in circles.

As surprised and stressed you were, you shook your head in response. "What? I don't understand. I'm not doing anything. I'm not bothering. I'm grateful you let me stay around here, sheltering me," you said firmly, observing him circling around you.

"Oh yeah, yeah, you are grateful," Higgs said, placing hands on his back with a little shrug. He could see how much you tried to get his attention, in one way or another. It was honestly interesting in some way. "Just walking around, trying to do things, drawing me. Ya know, I made up my mind. Time to pay for being here has come."

Blinking in disbelief at his sudden outburst you turned to see him. "I don't understand what you are talking about," you told him with a shrug of your shoulders. "One word and I'll be gone, as soon as I appeared," you assured him while coming up with imagined ways he would want you to pay for his hospitality.

Higgs laughed loudly and stopped to look at you. "You? Gone? And where will you go? Girl with no past nor future, the one that begged me to help her. You want me to believe that you will endanger yourself by going right into BTs or timefall? Don't make me laugh, girl. So? I am waiting to hear your offer," he said, sitting down on the desk. Higgs was ready to see how much you were capable of doing to stay here with him, maybe after all you could be useful in some way. For him at least.

You put your notebook in a little locker and tapped your lips with fingers trying to come up with ideas he was thinking about. "I have no idea. Enlighten me, Higgs," you asked in the end and shivered as you heard timefall starting to pour down. "I don't know what you're expecting me to do," you added quickly. "All I can do is to not pack my ass in any unnecessary troubles which I find very useful for you and your men."

Higgs thought, scratching his bearded cheek. Oh, he got a fucking perfect idea. You could do it or get soaked outside. He gave you one of his wicked smiles and removed the hood from his head. "Undress if ya wanna stay here. We'll have some fun, sugar," Higgs explained, moving closer to you. "Unless you want to get to know BTs personally or get a bit wet and I do not mean down there," he glared at the place between your legs.

You listened to his offer and glared right into his eyes.

As he took the hood off, you came to the conclusion he indeed was a very handsome man. And that in other circumstances you would probably happily flirt with him or maybe even get into a fling.

You swallowed yet took a step forward to him. Climbing in tiptoes you wrapped arms around his neck and placed a kiss to his bearded cheek; you felt a sudden outburst of courage. "Your proposition is pretty interesting yet from these two options I am picking the timefall."

You looked him deeply in his blue eyes and then you turned to grab your backpack.

Higgs nodded. "Fine." He took the zipper of your suit and opened it up, pulling it off of your shoulder, revealing nothing more than a thin tank top. After grabbing you by the arm he started to drag you in an unknown direction. He forced you to walk with him until the two of you were almost outside the whole camp, under the last bit of the roof over your heads.

It started to rain heavily in a second.

"If you are so sure of your choice, go on. I will gladly watch,” Higgs growled, pushing your shoulder gently. "You obey or you die. It’s up to you.”

You were standing like paralyzed.

Few drops of timefall bounced back from the ground and fell on your leg still covered in a skintight suit, leaving greyish stains of where the material got older within the blink of an eye.

You swallowed. "I obey," you whispered, barely moving your lips. "I'll obey."

Higgs smiled. Of course, you would obey. Everyone obeys him so there could be no other outcome for you either. "You see? It wasn't that hard sugar, was it?," He purred right into your ear.

After this, he took you back to his tent. "So, what will you do now? Will you follow my fucking order?," He asked and crossed arms over his chest, waiting for you to do your thing. This all was getting interesting.

As you agreed to obey, you gave him a brief nod and very reluctantly stripped down to your underwear and tank top you were wearing. "Happy now?," You asked him, your brow raised.

He watched the show with a smirk playing on his lips. You were hella pretty, he had to give it to you. In a few quick steps, he approached you, wrapping arms around your waist "Oh, sugar, yes. Very fucking happy. You have no idea how," Higgs purred deeply before crushing his lips against yours in a messy, deep kiss, forcing his tongue past your lips without any permission.

He almost flipped over with you and you did your best to balance your bodies in a stable position. The kiss was too unexpected and messy and when he was kissing you, your eyes were widely opened as you were trying to process what was going on. "Wait, wait," you mumbled as you managed to finally cup his face in your palms. "Easy. Easy. Don't attack me like a starving dog," you instructed him.

Next thing you did was slip your hand into his hair and pull on them lightly, kissing his beautiful lips gently as you climbed on tiptoes.

"Atta girl," Higgs murmured against your lips before kissing you back.

Soon, he picked you up with one arm to move you on the cot. He didn't like it but it was still better than fucking you on the floor. Higgs pulled away right after placing you down, then moved to your neck, placing a few kisses there. After that, he moved down your body, tracing his way with the tip of his tongue.

"Let's see what you hide there, sugar," He hummed once he reached the hem of your tank top, without much of a talking he swiftly pulled it off of you.

You moved your upper body in an attempt to help him with your clothing. Higgs tossed your top aside and in the first second all you wanted to do was to cover your breasts by crossing arms over your chest but he stopped you.

You were too scared to let out a single word so you only watched his actions. His cot was pretty uncomfortable though. "What are you going to do?," You asked simply, your eyes fixed on his.

"Don't hide these beauties, sugar," he winked at you before wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it and sucking it for a moment before turning his attention to the other one to give it the same treatment.

Higgs pulled away to look at you with a smile after a longer moment.

"What do you think? I will fuck this hopefully nice, sweet pussy hard," Higgs explained proudly and used his teeth to slowly remove your panties, pulling on them.

As much as you enjoyed his lips wrapped around your nipples and as many nice feelings it'd brought to you, you couldn't help but shivered hearing him saying the word "fuck". You slightly raised your hips to help him get rid of your panties. As you were looking down at him, you tapped his shoulder that was still wrapped around your waist. "Higgs? Uhm... I think there'll be a... I mean, well, there's a problem with that plan of yours."

Higgs growled annoyed and looked up. "What problem?" He observed you and saw a slight hint of fear and nerves in your eyes. Higgs quickly realized what did you mean, he chuckled lowly and shook his head in pure disbelief. "Oh sugar, my sweet little Y/N. Are ya still a virgin, am I right?"

Your eyes widened when he used that one particular word, the blush hit your face and you turned read so instead of answering, you moved slightly to reach for his coat that was laying on the floor. You picked it up and covered your face with the material, at the same inhaling Higgs' scent.

Yet after a moment you pulled the cape down your face so only your eyes were visible. "Yes. I haven't had... I mean, you know what I mean, holy Lord. You'd be the first one... I want to go home... I'm truly useless."

He raised the cape enough to put his head under it as well, bumping his nose into yours with a little smile. "You aren't useless, sugar. You are young, pretty, innocent. I hate to rip it off of you but it's time to learn a new thing and I will gladly help you with that. Will you let me?" Higgs was fucking surprised with this sudden wave of concern he felt when you confirmed what he thought.

You giggled when he bumped your nose. "I... I'm so scared...," You claimed openly. "I don't want to... I... What if I'll let you down... I don't want to disappoint you..."

The truth was you weren't keen on the idea of losing your virginity in such a place, in such a circumstance, but somehow you were pulled to Higgs. He was magnetising and you realized you lost your head for him the day he rescued you from his nasty men.

"I will take care of you, guide you and you never disappointed me, today you won't as well. Do you trust me?," He whispered his question.

You smiled a little bit too sadly. "Do I have other choices though?" You swallowed some moments later and nodded. "I trust you."

Higgs chuckled and kissed you deeply before moving down to settle between your legs, he grabbed your flesh and placed your legs on his shoulders. "I won't break that trust. Just relax," man instructed you before diving between your legs to wrap his mouth around your clit, sucking it gently.

Soon he pulled away to spit on your entrance and slowly pushed two of his fingers into you while his lips returned to your already swollen clitoris.

When his bearded face found its place between your legs, you let out a loud moan. Despite the fact it all was so wrong, it felt right as fuck.

A strange feeling started building within you, a kind of a knot in your abdomen. You let him do whatever he wanted until his slender fingers slipped into your pussy. You gasped and in the first attempt you tried to roll your hips backward to get away from.the touch but he held you in place. It took you a moment to relax and enjoy his actions one again while humming like a little kitten, your eyes fixed on him.

Higgs locked eyes with yours, eating you out. He closed his eyes with a satisfied hum while his fingers were moving in and out of you. After a long moment, he pulled away. "As much as I love the sweetness of your pussy already, I won't let you cum just yet." He chuckled at your expression which was a mix of newly-found pleasure and fear. "No need to be scared," humming, he started to undress, revealing his body and more tattoos. "Hope you like what you see."

You observed him carefully, your heart was pounding in your chest like an animal locked in a cage.

In a courage outburst, you shifted in your place and knelt in front of him, wrapping arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

Despite the fact you knew your behavior was pretty odd and you probably would be taken as a whore, you didn't care.

Higgs kissed you back, loving the fact you got so eager all of the sudden. "That's the spirit, sugar. You are such a good girl, my favorite,” he whispered against your lips, gently placing you back in the previous position on the cot to take place between your legs. "You are fucking beautiful," he muttered looking at your naked form. "I am not so bad myself, what do you think?"

You rested your body on elbows and gave him a smug smirk. "Seems you're pretty decent. But, of course, you look scary. But I find you a very handsome man."

"Of course I look fucking scary. I am the scariest motherfucker around. You flatter me with your words. Now we will take care of that tight hole of yours, you gonna love it," Higgs growled, pushing his hips against yours to let you feel him.

"O-oooohhh," you let out a moan yet instantly bit your lower lip. "But... Maybe, maybe let's just pass?," You suggested looking down his body at his already erected member. You pressed your thighs together, closing the way to your pussy. "I'm not sure..."

"Oh, sugar. No need to fear me, I won't hurt you that hard and I can assure you that you'll fucking love it and beg me for more," he assured spreading your legs and wrapping them around his waist.

You licked your lips and smiled at him as he wrapped your legs around his hips. You looked him in the eyes. "Can I get a kiss?," You mumbled quietly, trying to do your best to distract him from the main thing. "Promise me it won't hurt. Promise?"

"It will hurt, it's natural but I got you," Higgs promised and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you as close as it was possible. He positioned himself at your entrance and started to push in, pulling you into another deep, messy kiss only to distract you from the pain and discomfort. Halfway in, he pulled away from the kiss and growled deeply. "Fuck, you are fucking tighter than I expected. I fucking love it, Y/N. You are fucking amazing!"

The pain was sharp and burning, you felt like your guts would be tearing apart. You realized that you stopped breathing with your eyes fixed on his face; when he stopped kissing you and growled, you let out a loud cry mixed with a moan. But shortly after, when he pushed his entire length in, you screamed loudly and tried to muffle your voice by gently biting his arm. "It hurts...," You mumbled. "It hurts. I can't."

"Sure you can. You are my brave girl and you are doing just fine," Higgs praised you, gently rubbing your belly. "Relax and it will be much better. I promise."

You nuzzled to his bare chest, your eyes closed shut as he started pounding harder in you. You dared to look down your body and gasped when you noticed how Higgs' cock was moving in you, a visible bulge was forming in your abdomen.

Soon, you rolled your head back putting it into his cot and clenching his coat with your free hand.

Higgs grabbed your hips and pounded in you even harder, setting the fast and brutal pace since you relaxed around his shaft.

"Just look how nicely it goes in and out. You take it so well, Y/N. I am so fucking proud now. More than I’ve ever been. Be a good girl and cum," he ordered as his hand found your clit to rub it harshly.

"Oh-ohh!," You moaned and parted lips, enjoying the way he was kissing your neck and collarbone. You felt how huge he grew inside of you. "Can I... Would you... Can we try something else before I cum?," You whispered, kissing his arm.

Higgs growled annoyed and looked at you. "What is it?," He asked with a frown, his hips didn't stop moving.

You wrapped arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek and neck, until you reached his ear. "Harder," you whispered directly into Higgs' ear.

Higgs laughed and placed both arms on the opposite sides of your head, bracing himself to start pounding at you without holding back as he did previously. "As you wish," Monaghan purred happily before fulfilling your wish by fucking you hardly. The cot was squeaking under your weights.

You rolled your head back, grasping one of his forearms to support yourself. The pain vanished almost completely, the only feeling overwhelming you was a pure pleasure and desire. You improved your legs on his hips and were moaning for him. As you barely could take him, a single tear streamed down your cheek, but it wasn't a tear of sadness. "I... Oh-oh!," You mumbled as he throbbed inside of you. "I think I'm cuming," you grunted and at the same moment your legs started shaking. Your walls clenched tightly around his cock still buried in you and you screamed his name.

Higgs smiled and laughed softly, seeing you falling apart under him, it simply was more satisfying than he expected "Atta girl, you see? You made this, I bet the whole camp heard your screaming my name," he purred, licking the trail up your neck. He let out a loud groan as well as he was near his own peak. Higgs parted lips and his hips got all sloppy. After a few more thrusts he pulled out to cum all over your belly.. Trying to catch his breath, he smirked wryly at you. "Fuck, I am fucking exhausted. What have ya done to me, doll?"

When Higgs pulled out of you, you gasped sadly for the loss of contact. Blushing hard as he simply cum on your naked body, you ran hand through your messy hair and sighed. Tip of your tongue ran along your upper lip as you watched him taking place by your side on the cot.

You rolled quickly on your side and placed your head to his chest. You didn't care whether he'd push you away; all you'd wanted was him to hold you close just even for a moment.

He patted your hair and sighed. "You know? I still wonder how the fuck did you end up in that cave. It's so mindfucking that I cannot find a rational answer," Higgs said randomly as he rubbed his chin.

You hugged him seeking any kind of comforting. "I don't remember how I got there, I told you," you reminded him.

Listening to his heartbeat was reassuring.

He nodded. "I remember. That's why it bothers me that much. After all, who would throw such a nice girl with such a sweet pussy out though?," Higgs teased you, hugging you back. For some reason, it felt so fucking good to just hold you within his arms and keep you close. The simple fact you were near him and that you obviously were claimed as his made him happy.

"Whoever did was probably a bad person though," you claimed and dared to trail your fingertips up and down his abdomen, along his happy trail. "Or maybe I did something to be left outside? Who knows. I think we won't find the truth."

His warmth was a blessing and you wished this moment would last forever.

"What's going to be with me now?," You asked him while moving your head up to have a peek into his beautiful, blue eyes. "You've gotten what you'd wanted so you can send me away now. I am not needed anymore."

Higgs thought, looking blankly at the ceiling. Technically, you were right; you didn't have any important position among the camp. You just were. He could kick you out and be done with it all but Higgs didn't want to do this. He just wanted your presence, it all would feel wrong without you around.

Higgs reached over and grabbed his cape you used to cover your face. He wrapped you in it as much as he only could than he hugged you really tightly, pulling you close to his chest. "No, you stay here. By my side. Till the fucking end," Higgs said nuzzling to your hair. This was what he wanted; just to be with you. Somehow he came up to one obvious conclusion - he was falling in fucking love. Was it even possible?

You raised your upper body part to have a good look on his face. "You mean it? I stay here? You won't send me away?," You questioned and as he gave you a slight nod, you hugged him. "Thank you! I promise I won't let you down. I promise I'll be behaving. I promise I'll be useful," after assuring him you placed a tender kiss to his beautifully carved lips.

Higgs kissed you back with a hum. "Just stay by my side and this will be the best work for you."

You smiled a little. "Say it."

He looked down at you with a frown. ‘’Say what?"

"That you're attracted to me," you smirked wryly at him. "And that is the reason you want me around."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yes, I am so fucking attracted to you that I want to keep your around so I can fuck that tight, little hole of yours whenever I want," Higgs claimed proudly.

You kissed his lips briefly before getting up from the cot. "Thank you for confirming the fact I knew since the moment you offered me sex or dying in a timefall," you smiled at him as you were getting dressed. "And well, we'll see whether I'll let you fuck me one more time or not," you winked at him.

Higgs laughed loudly and nodded, stretching on the cot freely, not caring that he was naked. "You'll fucking beg for this, sugar. I still need to teach you a lot about sex."

You fixed your hair and took a look at his naked body. "You're hot, you know this but your mouth is so filthy, I love that," you winked at him. Slowly zipping your suit, you gave him the last glare. "Better get dressed. It's cold and your cock seems to hate it."

#higgs monaghan #higgs monaghan smut #higgs monaghan x reader #higgs monaghan x reader smut #higgs monaghan fic #death stranding #death stranding smut #higgs monaghan fiction #death stranding fic #homo demens #reader insert #writers on tumblr #man in the golden mask #the particle of god that permeates all existence

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lethalchiralium · 4 years ago

Text

blue hydrangea | Higgs Monaghan x F!Reader

a/n: requested by @catbox-art and @barzalslittlebitch , but in turn I realized I need to continue my male reader inserts for my male readers :)

warnings: cussing, Higgs being Higgs... also if the advice doesn’t make sense please remember that my 7 braincells are here but none of them work anymore I need new batteries

Now this is a sight.

Higgs gazed around the small room that was over growing with gorgeous plants and flowers. The place had such a sweet smell of addicting flowers, Higgs couldn’t believe his eyes. He didn’t really believe that hacker of his, but that man hasn’t steered him wrong yet. He was looking for the famous Botanist of the Northeast, who grew plants all day and gave advice all year long. Many called her the Goddess of Spring, or just Persephone, for short. Not many knew her real name.

He was here for fun, to see if a rumor was true; he could have checked on the Fragile Express Network if she was real, but he liked investigating things for real. Nevertheless, he was impressed by the amount of greenery that thrived in the room. The Devil’s Hound that usually brought death was starting to be overwhelmed by all of the life in the room, he wished it left a bad taste in his mouth but he couldn’t lie; this was a magnificent sight. He just wished he wasn’t a fucking klutz.

As soon as he stepped forwards, he heard something tumble to the ground and shatter. He glanced to his right, where his arm had accidentally nudged off a little pot with a small, blooming golden flower.

“Dammit,” He muttered before he kneeled down, his eyes wandered to this flower that reminded him of his porter days. He saw a flower like this once, when he was hiking to the Spiritualist. It was growing under the warmth of a Timefall Shelter that he was sleeping under due to the whiteout, it was exactly like this one.

“Hey sweetheart, what’dya break?” A voice popped up next to him and he stood up quickly, he was caught in his thoughts. You kneeled on the floor and looked up at him with an innocent gaze, he thought that that alone would melt him into wax for the Devil to use for her letters. You gave him a small grin before you looked down at the plant on the floor.

He certainly thought the ‘Persephone’ so many told stories about would be a frail old lady, let alone a young lady.

“Sorry, I just wasn’t-“

You waved at him, the other hand gently scooped the flower into a much larger pot with a different type of flower. “Don’t worry, accidents happen.”

You wiped your hands on your overalls and gave Higgs another gentle smile. “What can I help you with, honey?”

Higgs’ heart malfunctioned and he gave you a sweet smile back. “Well, I was hopin’ I could have some of that free advice I keep hearin’ about.”

You smiled wide. “Well, I’d need something to give you advice about, but first, would you like some tea?”

Higgs followed you down a spiral staircase to a large shelter, where hanging plants hung from the ceiling beside the warmth of the fairy lights. This home was the embodiment of ‘soft’, the living room had all white furniture and the lights were set low. He wondered why he couldn’t have all of these nice things at his own home.

There are way too many reasons why I can’t have nice things.

You moved to the little kitchenette and grabbed two tea cups. He watched as you poured them both tea, and he was honestly curious as to why you extended kindness to him. He felt that he looked hideous, you should’ve at least been standoffish.

“I don’t judge people on their looks, sweetheart.” You handed him a cup of tea and he took it, then followed you to your dining room. You both sat down, you set your cup down on the table as he took a sip.

“Now, for real, what is troubling you?”

Higgs offered a toothy grin as he set down his cup. “I honestly don’t know. I only came here because I thought you were just a rumor that my colleagues told just for shits and giggles.”

You smiled and carded a hand through your hair. “It’s surprising to hear of an independent woman having thoughts, isn’t it?” Higgs instantly started to sputter but you held up a hand with a playful smile. “I’m just joking, please don’t get upset.”

Even Higgs knew the greatest leader needed someone to talk to, and this lady was a personality he could get used to.

“Was always taught to respect women, ma’am, didn’t mean anything by what I said.”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your tea. “I hope you can trust me enough to take down your walls someday, sweetheart.” Higgs’ smile dropped instantly and he looked down at his own cup, avoiding her intense glare. “But for now, at least give me something to let me grant you some peace of mind. You went out of your way to visit me, it is only fair.”

“Fine.” He spoke, and then took a long sip of his tea, pondering the taste in his head for a moment. “I have this...battle that seems I’ll win but I keep losing. My goal is getting just outta reach, no matter what I do. There’s always something fuckin’ it up. Any advice to how I can win?”

You grabbed a sugar cube from the dish on your table, and he watched you intently. “You are letting yourself get wrapped up in it all.” You rolled the cube in your fingers as you sat back in your seat. “People tend to let the flavor of victory infect their mouth before they have even reached the battlefield. They think they will win the battle because they are the best, but in fact, they’ve left their defenses down and are easy to strike down. Take for an example, Napoleon. He was regarded as a military genius in his time, and soon after the invasion by Russian forces, he was exiled but soon returned, only to be in over his head since he thought he knew he would win.” You then placed the sugar cube next to your tea cup. “Don’t let your goal make you feel victory before you even put in the real effort to get there. If you really want to reach your goal, to defeat your enemy, you need to get up and put in the effort you know that needs to go in. You need to be smart and let your pride stay out of your head for a while.” You pointed at the sugar cube. “Pride is what exiled Napoleon, twice I may add. And you seem like a prideful man, so it seems that your pride may be your downfall.”

Higgs’ eyebrows furrowed. For a lady ‘round my age, she sure knows her shit.

He sat back in his chair as he watched you sip your tea again. “Such wise words comin’ from such a young and beautiful lady.”

You gave him another smile. “Not all women are made for looks, Peter.”

Higgs was impressed. You knew he was in your home before he had even smashed that damn pot. “Your brain has mine beat, but I can’t deny a lady this beautiful a compliment.”

“Thank you, Peter. I hope you realize that in this setting, I will always remain professional.”

Higgs finished his tea then nodded your way. “Still can’t stop my compliments, even if you gave me a lifetime’s worth of that tea you have.”

You brushed it off before you stood, taking his cup and yours in your hands, then saying, “I hope you remember your way out? I’m sorry to kick you out, but I do have some chores to finish.”

“Oh, yeah.” He stood, and pushed his chair back in as a sign of respect, then glanced around to see that the lady had vanished. He shook his head, and jumped back to his own shelter miles away. He then waltzed into his kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, opened it, and chugged it. He was never a man for tea, but it was... quaint to hear something other than battle plans and how he should stop Sam next.

He chucked the can into the trash and hopped onto the hammock he stole from a porter a few years back. That porter was looking for hours for the damn thing, gave Higgs a hell of a good laugh. He honestly couldn’t get that place out of his head, a place where someone didn’t know him; but also a place he could talk to someone instead of talk to himself. It was refreshing, that and it’s been years since he had any... attraction to anyone, and it was such a surprise to hear someone not talk about themselves.

The fingertips of his right hand grazed the floor before he picked up the old tennis ball he had and tossed it at the wall, then caught it as it came back. He repeated this, hoping to rationalize the feeling of attraction that it has been years since he had felt. He didn’t like it; this whole feeling thing, made him want to rip out his heart and feed it to a BT. Sure, maybe he could get an artificial heart? Maybe that would cancel out this sudden... feeling thing?

Higgs’ Hand missed the ball and it landed right into between his eyes, and he let out a yelp. He tore the ball off of his face and let it fall beside the hammock as he gently pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes were stinging since the damn ball hit his nose too, and he just let out a loud chuckle. He knew he was in over his damn head with this one.

———

#death stranding #higgs monaghan #death stranding higgs #troy baker #sam porter bridges #higgs #lethalchiralium #higgs monaghan x reader #higgs x reader #higgs x f!reader #higgs monaghan x female!reader

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danddymaro · 3 years ago

Text

Death Stranding | What I Have To Do

Previous: Stolen Princess

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

A/N: ((Most of this takes place before the previous chapter.))

I honestly wish I would have put this in before, but oh well.

Word Count : 5256

What I Have To Do

Thunder trailed the route he took. Darkness cast over the footprints behind him as he continued to walk along the trail of pretty little flowers that would soon see an end.

“ Oh darling,” Higgs started, holding the woman close, cradling her body, and sharing as much warmth with her as he could.

Smiling softly, he didn’t look back, instead, looking up at the clear sky before him and the wonderful azure that painted the atmosphere,

“A little piece of heaven in this hell,” He said while he took one step forward, the long stride ending in a short spin of bliss.

“- The sound of this rain, I don’t think I could ever hate it.” he mused.

“- Because It’s our sound.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

- Hours Prior

The unrelenting sound of the seemingly never-ending, weighty downpour remained a part of the background as the two stayed awake together throughout the night.

The occasional thunders that boomed outside had, for the most part, gone ignored in a sort of, 'out of sight, out of mind,' stand against the world and whatever assault it had to deliver, which wasn't too much unlike how life had become since the world had changed.

Since life had become a survival;

Since the explosion.

Tentatively, (f/n) looked up at Higgs, watching as he skimmed his eyes past every word of the book that lay before him.

He'd found it on a shelf a day prior and had been very languidly reading through the written words with what seemed like mild interest.

He wasn't entirely absorbed with it based on how much he frequently took it upon himself to look towards her and speak, paying more attention to the scattered talks they had throughout the last few hours than the piece of literature he had on the table.

(f/n) had difficulty not smiling when he looked at Higgs.

He was a very sweet person, and they seemed to share a common trait ;

They wanted someone there, or rather, they yearned for someone there.

Higgs always had a strange, soft gloom in his eyes, and it always hit her when she aligned her sights with him because she identified with it so much that it felt like a reflection of her own gaze.

'I would have never have imagined it, never have expected it... but I'm happy he's here,' She thought to herself, not quite sure she could really refer to him as a stranger anymore.

- Not when they’d share so much.

Perhaps if the tremendous storm had hit off while she was still alone she would have simply given in, accepting that her seldom, lonesome life was just so miserable, there wasn't a reason to keep trying.

There would be no reason to wait for sunlight.

There would be no reason to keep checking her emails, daily and desperately.

There was no reason for anything when the only thing that awaited her was an eventual, lonely death to pair with her uneventful existence.

'But...' she then thought to herself, all as she retained a placid smile that barely lifted the corners of her mouth in the most delicate manner ever mustered, 'But I have a guest,' she added, musing over how even if she wanted to simply wither away now, it wasn't just her.

‘I have a friend,’ she thought with giddiness.

Originally she would have let happen what would happen, and it wasn’t like she would have had a choice anyway. She would meet an end whichever way, the only difference being that alone, she wouldn’t have put on a brave face.

She wouldn’t have battled through every day with a smile, a true expression that was of a person that had something left to enjoy.

She wouldn’t have hoped for one more day each and every night, hoping to somehow extend the hours of the day and prolong the ghastly visit of the reaper.

It would have been different before Higgs, but now she had company, pleasant company, and she wasn't going to let any of the wretched gloominess from the outside seep through just then.

Someone else occupied a seat in her home, and it felt so lovely.

It felt like something she didn't want to let go of just yet.

Somewhere, far deep within the crevasses of her mind, she hoped that if it was fate for her to fade away during the heavy downpour, then at least her last moments should be with someone else.

There was still no reason to look forward to anything beyond the downpour, but at least smile now she could smile.

Her last sentiment would be something treasured and tender.

'This is …nice,' she thought with lightheartedness, the heavy aching that had been weighing down her heart lessened, but only somewhat.

Try as she may, the returning thought of the Bridges porter always pathed way, because it was a different type of heartbreak she felt for him.

It was something so different and set apart that it was hard to ignore.

It was the same kind of ache she'd only ever read about before but never felt before then.

'In a dream world...you come back,' she mused. ' even if it ends in tragedy, you come back,' she added with a tart touch to her presently sweet smile.

'We'd say goodbye to each other.' She thought while only fantasizing a rather laughable, and overromanticized reenactment of the last novel she'd read.

‘You’d look at me, and you’d tell me how much you’ve missed me. And I’d tell you how much I don’t care...

Because you’re there with me now.

And that’s all that matters.

You’d touch me, and it’d be the first embrace we have...and the last thing I remember before I know what lays beyond.

She then scoffed, the small sound accompanied by a playful eye-roll that was coupled with a slow, bemused shake of her head.

'- like that would ever happen,' She finally added. 'You're busy...and I'm here.'

By then it'd been a total of six days of continuous rainfall that had not deterred by much.

Small, open windows of sunshine lasted for only a few minutes before the unkind showers continued, and as she realized that there wasn't even enough time to take a grateful breath during the interludes, she stopped waiting to be graced by the touch of warm rays.

She stopped trying to venture outside, and it had been then that she wondered if her visiting guest would become a permanent habitant because for some reason the thought of him also dying hadn’t really dawned onto her.

"And here I was thinking I'd die alone," she dryly muttered, the words leaving her before she could truly process what she was saying.

It was rather morbid to say given the situation, because the matter at hand was that, they could very well die. It was the grim reality.

For a fraction of a second, she expressed worry through a grimace as she registered her own words that were supposed to be more thoughts than anything.

"Here’s to that," Higgs said so with a huff, and while his head was more tilted down, looking over what was an old, torn novel before him, it was at the perfect incline to still meet her gaze.

As (e/c) colored eyes fell over his, she found amusement dancing in the blue orbs, giving her reason to smile again.

Calming, she was done away with most of her worry as it was replaced by something more innocent.

Embarrassment perhaps, an aftermath of not only her silly ramblings but the look he gave her, more specifically the playful chiding that came from them.

‘You know that was bad right?’ he silently questioned her.

‘Bad...but funny.’

- At least that’s what she understood.

She felt like she understood him, and he, in turn, did the same for her.

She hardly ever needed to explain things to him, because somehow, he just understood.

Darkness enveloped her home from the outside, but within the safety of the little, underground enclosure there was a graceful light that overpowered the dismay that existed for miles.

All the while, throughout every day that he spent with her, he retained a true, content smile, one that rarely ever faltered.

Every so often Bridges became a passing topic, and even then he managed to stay rather content.

Because it wasn't Bridges that watched her face morph from enjoyment to sadness. Then, as the sadness settled in, it wasn't Bridges that managed to make her smile after that.

- Higgs was.

He was there, and he wasn’t leaving without her.

As they sat together throughout the evening that ultimately turned into night, a sweet smile was on his face as he listened to her speak, enjoying the pleasing sound of her voice as she made conversation with him.

He'd only halfheartedly stared down at the printed words before him as a pastime before eventually, his hand gently moved to shut it, moving it aside as he looked at her, not at all bothered to give her all of his attention.

She'd started with the little sarcastic statement that somehow lead in to an actual conversation.

Somehow, there was always something to talk about, and while silence was always rather peaceful to him, there was something about the sound of her voice that made him feel calm.

It made him feel happy as well.

The entire time he'd sat there and breezed through the boring book, he wondered if she'd save him from its clutches and just talk to him, truly bringing him out with a talk that would give him a reason to keep his eyes on her.

And eventually, it happened, and he’d been overjoyed, silently overjoyed because he couldn’t tell her how much he loved her.

Not yet, at least.

She was enthusiastic to keep chatting, and he wouldn't dream of putting an end to the chat, even if, for the most part, it was one-sided.

'the more you tell me,' he started, all while walking past her, feeling so much at home, that he didn't ask where most things were, or if he could help himself to anything.

Part of it was just him marking his territory, and the other being that she truly didn't seem to mind, going as far as to encourage him to take what he needed, do what he wanted, and walk as though this were his own home.

The only limits he had were her bedroom, but of course, that was understandable.

As much as he wanted to visit her throughout the night, watch her, touch her and simply breathe the same air she did, he waited for the next day.

He was compliant.

- Respectful.

He was, what he felt she deserved.

'the more you keep going,' he went on as, unwillingly, a soft sigh of happiness left him,

'- The more I fall,' he thought with certainty.

'The more I'm here...' he then added, 'The more I understand you, and the more you become mine.'

'Have you told him half the things you tell me?' he asked himself, liking the idea that even if Sam had gotten the opportunity to be in her presence more, Higgs could go even closer.

He’d dug deeper.

His chest felt warm as throughout all the while that, that thought had occurred, his heart encouraged the musing,

' She's not like this with him.'

‘- I know her more.’

He wanted to touch her, even if it was just his arm grazing hers, he wanted some form of contact to go along with the feelings that festered within him.

But with a soft sigh, smiled instead.

He hummed in response to her, just to let her know he was listening to her and paying attention, all as he took the liberty to pour her a drink.

A sweet, aromatic waft of air traveled to him as he poured the tea, and he couldn't help but halfheartedly glare down at the drink with traces of guilt.

Guilt, that felt like an infectious negative eating him from within, spreading wildly.

Everything was going well, so swimmingly, it was astonishing. Everything was in his favor, and yet, somehow, there was just a touch of shame that he swallowed down as he prepared her serving.

' I came here...to do this,' he thought to himself, knowing that eventually, the little world they shared had to crumble.

Eventually, they had to face reality.

"I need you to go there," the young, blonde-haired woman said as she informed him of the location, one he recognized quickly, and he felt something knot up his stomach.

Actual bile threatened to rise from his stomach, and as a result, his mouth was shut tight, lips pressed together firmly.

With the same wretched expression of sorrow that created a mask of false innocence she always wore, the blonde-haired woman looked over at him,

"I want her out of the way," She said lowly, finalizing her decision, and it was only then that he looked up at her, his gaze narrowed.

In her own world, she didn’t feel the hot sear of his gaze, or the sharpness of the blades he shot at her.

"-If you have to create a void out and take everything along, then do so," she ordered.

Her words were spoken in the same manner as always, always having a touch of plea in them even while she made commands to him, as though somehow, she were the true victim.

- As though she had true, justification.

The golden mask he wore was placed perfectly over his face, and if she could see his eyes, she'd know that the little playful tone he spoke with was just as a façade as she, in her entirety was,

"An entire void out?" he mused, "What? Are you Afraid of a little girl in the middle of nowhere?" He mused aloud, the statement making Amelie's mouth turn down as she swallowed down bitter spit.

She looked as though she’d tasted something inhumanly sour with how quickly and viscously her features had twisted.

In her heated state, Amelie didn't question why his voice had been so low, nor how, there was even the slightest sense of knowing in regards to the targeted individual.

Instead, in all her ignorance, she turned from him, looking over to the waters of the beach, glaring at it and hiding the storm that brewed in her own eyes as she bitterly scowled.

"-It's because of her," she then said sharply, nearly hissing. "He goes to her at every moment he can!" she added.

“...And the way he talks about her,” she said while spinning back to face Higgs, her eyes on the verge of tears.

'He..?' the man thought with confusion at first.

"During every moment I see him, she's there, like a ghost I can never see but have to hear about!" she exclaimed, pain evident. " He mentions her like she's this existing being that's not of this world...like she's the only thing that matters to him," she added, and it clicked.

It all clicked.

(F/n).

His (f/n), the one that was far from all the other shit and wretchedness, was the same person Amelie would occasionally maunder over, never addressing her or truly mentioning her, but having enough spite to grumble over and vent as Higgs halfheartedly paid attention.

(f/n) was the same person Sam had met and couldn't stop visiting.

- The same one he seems to act strange and bashful over when she's brought up.

- The same one that Amelie would listen on about with concern that had spiked into spite when Bridges admitted that when his mind wanders, he thinks of her. Much more that he hopes that somehow, a dream would manifest, something to replace the nightmares he has.

Amelie was jealous because before (f/n), she'd been Sam's comfort.

She'd been the only reason he had until he found (f/n).

" Is this about that little errand you sent him to do...

Or about keeping him all to yourself?" Higgs asked suddenly, already knowing that even if both would be true, it was envy that fueled it most, all by the way he watched her stiffen.

"If she's gone," he started, feeling his heart suddenly ache as he said so, and he had to take a long inhale to continue, "You'll be his only reason he has," he said knowingly.

"Just make her go away..." Amelie pleaded, her voice terribly soft.

During then, something in (f/n) clicked, and her face became startled with sudden surprise while a sharp gasp left her,

“Oh!" She then peeped, a quick realization falling upon her, and making her abruptly stop.

The reaction affected him as well, the impulsive sound startling him.

Quickly looking over his shoulder, he caught her horrified expression, his own eyes wide as he froze.

"I’m so sorry!" she suddenly exclaimed, the apologetic cry calming him just a bit because he realized that it wasn't that she'd somehow figured out who he was, or suspected any treachery from him.

Instead, her outburst was something that came from a rather endearing, and considerate mindset.

"I'm so sorry," she said again, the second time nearly grimacing, "I didn’t mean to keep you up!” She then said while offering him a sheepish smile, not even noticing how ridged he'd been or how much relief washed over him afterward.

She then seemed to deflate, as slowly, the enthusiasm she'd been speaking to him with began to die out, leaving him with just the soft sounds of her quieting, nervous chuckles.

'Are you kidding me?' he wondered with amusement, ‘I just love listening to you...’ he mused, shaking his head while he held back a chuckle of his own.

"Don't apologize," he told her, truly feeling that he didn't have a right to one.

“But I- “

"No, No," he then insisted, playing off the sternness that had been weaved in his words at first, stopping whatever argument she had as well.

" I'm having fun!" He assured her, dismissively waving his hand to try and convince her that he was being sincere and not just polite.

“I’d rather stay awake with you than be alone with my thoughts all night,” he argued, the words holding just a touch of bitterness.

"So come on, and I'm warning you, If you don't keep talking, then I will," he cautioned her, forcing a chuckle from her. "And my stories aren't as sweet as yours," he promise her, and he was being entirely truthful.

There was hardly anything soft about him, except, perhaps her.

"- And I don't mind," she said without hesitance, and he softly nibbled on his tongue, because he had the urge to tell her everything.

Foolishly, he wanted to just spill everything to her.

'Would you understand?' he thought to himself, reasoning he already knew the answer, but just hoped for that off-chance as impossible as it could be.

'If you knew how many times I'd cornered him like a damn rat...

If you knew that I'm the very thing you pray against...' he then added, knowing how much she worried over the other man.

‘Would you forgive me?’ he wondered. ‘Or would you forget this part of me exists? Would you just see me in the way he’s probably already told you to see me?’

He was silent, far too contemplative to notice she waited for him to speak and tell her the very stories she'd find dreadful.

She could see how pensive he became, as well as how much his expression had darkened, and after a thoughtful hum, she slowly took the reigns again,

"Ah...You know," (f/n) then started, not at all confident in her words as they stumbled out, "I don't mind a lil drizzle," she admitted, offering him a lukewarm smile as she told him.

She'd tried to think of something quick to distract him from whatever it was that turned his mood, and that was the first thing that came out.

She reasoned that he had a visiting, bitter thought and wasn’t quite ready to share yet.

As a kindness, she thought she should draw him back to her instead.

He needed a distraction, and she did her best.

so far he'd made it clear he didn't mind if she spoke, and he seemed to have something in mind, something grave she wanted to pull him back from.

" It might sound like I hate it with how much I complain, " she started, and before she continued, he scoffed, suddenly snapping out of his daze.

"You? complaining?" he asked her with mock disbelief. " No....not you," he added, well aware of how much she complained about the continuous showers.

Rolling her eyes, she continued, "Anyways, I complain about the storm we have now, but to be truthful, sometimes, I look forward to a little bit of rain," she then said while playing with the doily that decorated the round table, idly hooking her fingers onto it with no real reason but to mess with it.

"It isn't that I despise the rain itself...because I don't..." she confessed to him.

"Soft showers are lovely," she said softly. "They're relaxing, almost sedative at times."

"I don't hate the rain...but lately..." she murmured with a little sigh, "Lately, it’s been too much, and I haven’t been able to sleep.” She told him.

"My problem is that it hardly ever stops," she said while closing her eyes tightly.“ It’s been making me really anxious,” She revealed.

"It's been making me feel really uneasy, and when I feel like that, I just toss and turn if I try and go to bed.

So, I don't even bother to try and rest," she went on. “And even when I do...I feel tired still,” she explained.

“I guess that’s why I'm still out here, ” she said so as a self-realization.

"It feels like walls are caving in on me, and I have to find something to blame so I can just... just keep going.

I try to distract myself though. You know, doing little things to try and get my mind off of..." (f/n) then trailed off, her lips pursed together as she hummed.

"... everything," she added, having an entire catalog of things that left a bitter taste at the mention.

“I’m so tired and sleep can’t fix it. I don't know if you feel that way too sometimes," she added.

"- So frustrated and tired," she elaborated. “I wonder if my silly ramblings make any sense,” she then said.

During then, he gazed down at her serving of tea, blankly staring down at it as he took in her grievances.

"- Sometimes," he admitted, not telling her that the truth was that it was every day.

The nightmares that tormented him made sleep nearly impossible.

He either woke up in between thick sobs or stayed awake until his eyes burned and there was hardly ever an in-between.

Lately, however, he’d had the luck of living through the ‘Hardly ever,’ moments.

Being around her felt …nice.

"I get nightmares frequently," he revealed to her, "So sleep isn't an escape for me like it is for everyone else," he informed her.

“It’s never really been an escape for me,” he added with a grimace.

"Being a porter... I was...I am away a lot. Most of the time I'm alone." he said while a touch of remembrance graced him as he thought back to the innocence he used to have.

he thinks back to the sadness that floods him and has stayed.

He thinks of all of his failures and how no matter what he did, death was at the end.

"I don't have to bother anyone that way. That’s the good thing about being alone," he mused the thought aloud, knowing he had trailed off the point he was trying to make, if there had been any to begin with.

“Anyways,” he muttered, all while continuing to gaze down at her serving, eyeing the blend with an expression that held a halfhearted glare,

"I've got something for us here, " he said before slowly turning back to her. “It should hit the spot,” he said while gently placing the mug before her.

"- Extra sweet..." Higgs informed her, his smile sincere as he mirrored her gentle expression.

' - just like you,' he inwardly mused, '...just for you,’ he thought while slipping the little flask back into his pocket as he took his seat across from her.

" Higgs ?" she then breathed as her hand touched the handle, the downhearted expression she wore stilling him because there was nothing in between them.

It was just him and her, truly bared, yet another layer stripped.

"Do you ever feel like...like you don't want to be here?" she wondered, seeming ashamed at asking such a thing. "like...you don't want to be anywhere?" she asked him, and his surprised expression that quickly turned soft gave her a strange sense of comfort.

He didn't judge her for such an inquiry, nor did he look at her with pity.

Instead, it was like he was looking at her with understanding, and all without a single word, he made her feel normal, accepted.

" Yeah," he then breathed, sounding tired as he answered her.

"But right now...I like being here," he admitted to her, meaning it.

He watched as her eyes shinned, beyond the wetness that had suddenly welled within them, there was a happy, little twinkle in the (e/c) colored eyes.

There was a short silence in between them one that lasted only a few seconds short of a minute before she spoke again,

"-I like that you're here," she said back, a little quiver to her voice she then masked with a soft chuckle.

' I like having someone around.

I like not feeling lonely.

I like knowing I'm listened to.

I like knowing you're here.

I like you.'

'you deserve sleep,' he thought with falling shoulders, ' You deserve so much more than this,' he added while watching as she drank down the warm drink with such an appreciation and trust that it twitched at his heart.

she didn't think twice about it, and if she had it was only because of the temperature of the beverage that forced her to go slow.

During then, he released a soft exhale through his nose,

' It'll be alright,' he thought with guilt as he continued to watch her indulge in the rest of the helping with not a single bit of hesitance or shred of doubt.

He could reason that perhaps she was distracted by their conversation, or maybe it was the soft vulnerability that she had for that moment itself, but truly, he knew that it was simply her naiveté that let him take advantage.

It's the very thing that let him into her home.

'You know the world is shit, but you don't let it rot you, ' he thought with admiration. ‘ You’re not stupid...you’re just too sweet.’

'You feel so alone, and you could try to find an escape. But instead, you just keep going.

You force yourself to keep going because you know deep in your heart, there's something there.

Even when you’re close to your end, you feel there’s just one thing there.

And you let it give you reason.

And somehow, you stay sweet.

You stay hopeful.

Even when you've got misery flashing in your pretty eyes, you're not letting it get the best of you,' he thought with pride.

'Even when your suffering, even after sobbing out your entire heart...you manage to smile,' he added with the same awe.

'You bounce back, and you glow just as gracefully.

You continue to find beauty in this filth.

You manage to do something, that until I'd met you felt impossible.'

Higgs's soft-toned blue's watched the young woman as, steadily, her demeanor shifted.

The lovely radiance of her (e/c) colored eyes slowly dimmed, and at that, the kind smile he offered her became firm, his two lips pressed together until they seemed thin.

her left hand balled before it pressed over her left eye, and her other joined in-suite, her right hand giving the respective eye the same treatment.

A yawn forced its way out of her, the airy sigh sounding terribly sweet before it was suppressed by her cupped hands.

"That's some good tea," (f/n) chimed before another long sigh escaped her, forcing little tears to well in her hazing eyes.

She began to slump, and gradually, she leaned forward, inching closer to the surface with incoherent murmurs as she tried to stay up.

"Higgs..?" she whispered in a soft moan as she watched his blurry figure approach her.

As he moved from the other end of the round table his index and middle finger slid over the surface, slowly trailing until they found contact with the vulnerable beauty.

"Shhhh..." the hushing noise that arose from him was tender, but not as gentle as the touch he graced her with.

Delicately, his hand caressed her (h/c) colored hair while his eyes stayed attentive to her lovely face and its serene expression as she lived through the last bit of resistance she had against the exhaustion.

She hummed in response to the touch, slowly blinking until she could hardly keep her eyes open.

"I'm happy you're here..." she said beneath her breath, still not understanding what was happening.

Smiling, he responded,

"Same here sweetheart."

Yet again she murmured his name and something else that he didn't quite catch.

The same tender hand eased her (light/dark) hair from over the back of her neck as he wore a loving smile.

Slowly, he inched closer, soon nuzzling her nape with a warm murmur of her name being released.

A battered breath left him, fanning over her exposed flesh before he soothed his lips onto the little patch of skin, the press lasting an uninterrupted minute he indulged himself in.

"I lied," he whispered. "And I'm sorry," he added, and if she could hear his soft apology she’d just know he was being true.

She’d know that there was true guilt in his voice.

She’d know that what he did was because he had to.

" I lied sweetheart...I don't like being here. I just like being anywhere you are..." he said with a quirky, little grin.

And for that moment he looked innocent and sweet.

"I'm keeping you safe darling, " he pouted. " From Amelie...From Bridges...From this world."

The blue glow to her cufflinks remained until his hand gripped the end that encircled her wrist.

His hold was strong enough it shook and it was all that he needed to sever the ties that needed to be destroyed,

"You don't need Bridges anymore," he said as they were forcibly snapped open, the blaring red that glowed with alarm, landing on the floor.

"I'll tell him for you," he said lowly. "I'll let him know you don't need him.

I’ll let him understand that you never needed him.

That you just needed to wait for me.

And here I am."

If anyone were to see him then, all they would gaze upon is a man that was devoted, a man too far gone to take anything less than what he now had in his hands,

"- I'll tell him you're mine now.

So You don’t have to worry about any goodbyes.

Because I know how much they break your heart."

Next Part :

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danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Right Here | Higgs Monaghan x Reader

Warnings;

Somnophilia

non-con that moves to dubcon

Maybe breeding?

I guess it’s also yanyan / Yandere

-If it’s not your fancy, please just don’t even touch it.

A/N: You know, this actually came from the little story I have out, but I reasoned it was better as a standalone instead, because Higgs isn’t like that in the other work.

He’s more of a sweetheart, still crazy, but I mean, a sweetheart nonetheless.

Word count: 879

Right Here

" He's not coming for you," he reminded her, his already deep voice thickened furthermore as he rasped the words right into her ear, "He...forgot...all about you." He groaned out, his hips sinking down to hers in a deep and sensuous meeting that was preceded by a low moan from his part.

" He forgot about you," He said again, his two hands moving over the soft skin of her legs, tenderly grazing his rougher skin over the exposed limbs before he hooked each one, soon hoisting them onto his shoulders.

Slowly, he eased down, her thighs soon pressed to her chest as he descended,

" But don't worry...I'm right here," he told her, his palms finding their way to her cheeks, holding them dearly.

"Sweetheart, I'm right here… " He murmured repeatedly, each dive down met with a sweet envelopment of warmth that left him high.

' If only you'd have those pretty eyes open.' He thought to himself, wishing she'd look at him,

‘If you’d just look at me, Sweetheart, you’d know just how crazy you drive me.’ He silently spoke, ‘If you’d look at me, you’d make this all perfect,’ He enthused, soon letting her legs glide down his arms, traveling there with the purpose of being held by his bent arms.

‘But this is good enough,' He then reasoned, eyeing her beautiful body as it lay beneath him, 'cause right now... You're mine,' he mused.

'Even if you're thinking about him now…You're right here with me,' He went on with a dumb grin.

“- Just us,” he hummed, his face lifting into a sweet grin as he watched her begin to stir, and during then his heart soared.

"There she is," he murmured with the glowing expression, greeting her with a pleasure that numbed her entire being.

Her (e/c) colored eyes soon fluttered opened, the glossy and dazed orbs looking up at the hazy sight of him with confusion.

“Higgs?” She said softly, knowing his voice, yet not understanding, “Wha..what… why?” She muttered incoherently before her eyes rolled back, a mewling cry then emitted from her gaping lips as her further questioning died out, drowned out and overpowered by the new, invading sensation.

“ That's it sweetie,” he said encouraged her, “That’s my name...” he said with a swell of pride,

“I’m right here,” He repeated.

Shakenly, her hips rose up to meet his, her entire body raked with hard shivers as he repeatedly fucked her, hitting her sweet spot with perfect aim he’d mastered just for her.

“I've been thinking about something baby,” he then uttered, his voice low and soft,

“ If I go in here,” he grunted while the full length of his cock sheathed within her,

“ If I cum....right here again,” he specified while taking a short pause in his movements.

“Fuck...” He hissed, “Would you forgive me?” he asked her, and as he spoke, all of his words sounded muddied to her, muffled by the heavy pounding of her heart as it bounced heavily.

He doused her heat with his own warmth, all while tightly pressing his hips to hers, the flesh melting over each other during the meeting, stuck by the glistening sweat that coated them both.

With a final heave he slowly eased himself out from her in a slow drag that left her itching to have him return.

She couldn't think properly, her mind growing hazy as her body had already been used to the point of overstimulation that left her helpless.

‘Higgs, ‘ she thought helplessly, desperate to have him rut into her more,

“Higgs...please,” she breathed, “I...want more,” she said while struggling to find a steady breath.

Broken beyond reason, she cried out to him, the urgent sound filling him with even more drive.

In his half daze he dragged his blue eyes down to her parted legs, eyeing the sight of her well-used snatch, still gaping and sweet, greedy for more of him despite already being full.

'Oh… Bridges… you could never.' He thought snidely.

A slim finger tenderly trailed up and down her wetness, a lax, weak sigh leaving her at the gentle motion.

"One more time, right?" He said softly, his lips coming down to hers, greeting her with a tender kiss as his finger dove into her, instantly coated by the remains of his many acts of love.

Her body squirmed, writhing beneath him as he gave her just what he asked him for,

‘More,’ He thought to himself, ‘ I’ll give it all to you,’

“ - I'm sorry,” he murmured against her mouth, her two legs held on each arm, hooked there after he'd plunged into her yet again.

“ I'm really sorry (f/n),” he said while using her again, his body feverishly moving, the ensnared man desperately wanting to keep the sight of her gazing up at him fresh in his mind, using the moment to ingrain the lovely sight in his brain.

‘ I can't help myself sweetheart.

I can't stop myself.

Fuck… I love you,’

“ You're mine, ” he murmured while he watched a sweet smile rise, pleased with being the one to will it out of her.

“You’re all mine now,” He said with certainty.

‘Our bond is the only one that will remain.

Our connection is the only one that matters. ’

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danddymaro · 3 years ago

Text

Heartbeat |Higgs Monaghan x Reader

Fluff / Sweetness

There’s one sure thing that puts him to sleep

Word count : 432

Heartbeat

His right ear was pressed right to her naked chest, listening to her gentle beat while staying silent, focusing on nothing more than the soothing harmony that resonated beneath her breast.

He couldn't sleep; He never could without difficulty, and it felt as though it had always been that way. He’d gotten so used to the sleepless nights, by then it just felt natural.

For as long as he could remember, there hadn't been a moment where he could easily fall into slumber, even during his time as a porter.

Even while dog tired and exhausted, he found it difficult to just rest.

His palm fell over her navel, before slowly tailing up, molding the curve of her other breast with tenderness before finding home there, his touch lasting as a smile graced him.

Her heartbeat reminded him that he had his special someone.

- Someone who yearned for him

- Someone who waited for him day in and out, and always seemed ecstatic to find him back home.

He had someone who loved him without a single bit of doubt wedged between the gentle pulses, and he wondered if she ever found the same peace with him.

Did she feel the same safety and ease, or was it all just one sided?

Truthfully, he was convinced he needed her far more than she needed him, and he was certain she could tell by his insistent touches and desperate desire to be close.

During her sleep her hands moved, soon finding his head before resting there, lovingly holding him by gently cradling him in a nurturing manner that lulled him and silently pleading him to join her in the same resting state.

A little smile then took over him, and during then, he closed his glistening blue eyes, softly huffing out a little breath while hoping she wouldn't wake from the drops that had spilled on her (s/c) colored flesh.

There was a small ache in his chest, but he welcomed it, accepting it as more evidence of his joy, the man musing over the fact that before then, he’s never cried of joy.

Before her, his tears were of nothing but sorrow and rage, all of which fed his torment.

With a soft smile, he breathed out her name, not wanting a response, not needing a single utter back, instead, simply focusing on the feel of her body, the enticing beat of her heart, and overall the presence of her and the love she provided him, all at once.

'What would I do without you?' He wondered before closing his eyes.

- See he’s not always a Jerk

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danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Jerk | Higgs Monaghan x Reader

Thoughts : ‘Sample’

Word Count: 639

This is for a reader who’s a part of the Itty Bitty Titty Comity, lol. So...Smoll chest girlies like me.

Kinda Smutty.

Jerk

"You've got worthless, lil' tits," he bitterly muttered, his gloved, right hand slapping the little perky set, causing them to perform a short-lived, yet, sweet little jump he eyed in a trance state.

His words were filled with mockery, but truly, he eyed every bit of her with nearly unblinking eyes, mesmerized by her exposed body in a way she hadn’t bothered to take in at the moment.

Instead, she looked away, her (e/c) colored eyes eyeing her clothes that all lay scattered, each and every piece stretched and torn due to his impatience.

She wanted to hide from him, and more than anything, obscure the sight of her small chest, but it wasn’t possible in the state she was now.

Her arms were pressed together behind her back, the itchy rope tightly bound around her forearms in a way that made it impossible to pull them apart, leaving her with no choice but to expose herself to him, her heaving chest beautifully presented to him.

As she took in a long, stilled breath, he released a low breath of his,

“ Well, “ he then muttered with contemplation, his blue eyes glued down, eyeing the meager bit of chest with a tight bite to his lower lip,

“...At least they're cute,” he murmured with praise, caressing the little lump in his hand sweetly before his entire hand enveloped the small breast, soon retreating his fingers until they were all drawn to the center of the tender flesh, tugging the cute, little bud that stood out excitedly.

And at that, her back arched, unwillingly drawing in more for him, the action making him chuckle, the kittenish look in his eyes becoming even more prominent as he curled his lips into a satisfied, little grin,

“ Oh darlin', what's with that face?” He said lowly, then pouting playfully as he watched her morph the lustful bliss she wore into a bit-lipped grimace.

His left hand’s index and middle finger strummed beneath her chin, the light, ticklish brush causing her to squirm. Consequently, the bind that held her dug into her skin, making her grow even more agitated,

“Talk to me,” He encouraged her, “Speak to Daddy.”

“Y-You’re such a jerk…” She breathed, finally finding it in her to look up at him, her (e/c) colored eyes staring up at him pathetically, something that made his insides stir,

“Ah, Come on... I'm still willin’ to fuck ‘em,” He rasped, his upper body leaned down to her, breathing out her name in a way that made her heart drum even louder, the sound of his voice almost drowned out by the loud rhythm.

With a snaking hand, then pressed his palm at the side of her face, holding her cheek as he hummed her name again,

“(F/n), ” He cooed.

His lips pressed to her hairline before he drew back, standing back at his full height, one that seemed much more imposing as she was cut down to size by her position.

“ And then...afterward,” he trailed off, a deep, low growl vibrating his chest,

“ - I'll fuck you too baby.

Oh… I'll fuck the absolute shit out of you.” He promised her and mindlessly, she quivered, reactive to everything he did, the woman affected by even the tone of his voice and the wonderful thickness that it possessed.

‘Of all the people scattered in the world…’ She started, watching as he made himself comfortable, the thick layers of clothing he wore removed in a way that was sensuous and teasing,

‘Why did it have to be him?’ she wondered while she eyed him with glazed (e/c) colored eyes, nearly salivating at the sight of the man that both loved and humiliated at the same time.

“Jerk...” She breathed again, both hating, and loving him, both feelings melted together, not one existing without the other.

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danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Death Stranding | Stolen Princess

Pairing : Higgs monaghan X Reader // Sam Bridges x Reader

Previous: Open Heart

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Wordcount: 3949

- LOL Higgs is so off his nut.

Pt 5 : Stolen Princess

The long-haired brunette trudged through the ridged trail, his two gloved hands firmly holding onto the straps that were snugly draped over his shoulders, holding all of his cargo gear in place as he traveled, simultaneously steadying his every step.

"Almost there," He said lowly, his light-colored eyes aimed straight, already knowing the route by heart despite not having traveled through the area in what felt like an entire lifetime.

"Almost there..." he said again, the entirety of his body feeling strained by the travel, yet ready for whatever opposing factor that came in his path.

"Gotta keep going..." he reminded himself, the concerned male determined to meet the marker before sundown, not wanting to waste another day.

"I have ... I have to..." He maundered with a stumbled step, his body slowly shutting down on him while he forced himself through the terrain in spite of the physical torture, the porter not willing to let anything stop him from reaching (f/n). "Goddammit..." He huffed, forced to halt for just a moment, bending over to take a small breather that became prolonged as the weight of his delivery brought him further down to a knee.

"Fuck," He cursed lowly, his right arm shooting down to place a hand at the ground beneath him to help push himself back up, the action being strained. "Come on," He said with a long exhale, his will unstirred because while he was currently beaten down, he had yet to be defeated.

'I Have to make it there, no matter what,' He told himself, remembering that it wasn't just a little visit.

It wasn't just because he missed her.

'She needs me,' He convinced himself.

He'd brought a lot of things he was certain she'd need; necessities he knew she couldn't live without. While of course, it had made his progress lag, he wasn't willing to go empty-handed, especially while knowing she needed him.

- Because she’d become talk amongst the other porters.

Rumors arose of a woman caught in a treacherous storm, isolated from the rest of the world, morso than anyone else.

No one could reach her, and by then she’d stopped her attempts to reach out, and he’d only just caught wind of it.

During the entire time, he knew he should have paced himself, especially while carrying so much material. He'd been making deliveries for years now, most of which were on foot, so he knew just what to do during the times of travel and furthermore understood how dangerous it was to use up so much energy over such a small period of time, and yet, even then he couldn't help himself. And he reasoned that perhaps it was just the dark cloud that always loomed over him that rattled him furthermore.

'Maybe....maybe I'm just paranoid.' He thought to himself, hoping for the best, wanting to blame all of his worries on his own heavily faulted psyche. "For all I know... you're just fine," He said to himself, tiredly looking up at the cleared sky, taking notice that it was a lot brighter now than it had been the last time he was there.

' At least it's brighter outside,' He told himself, 'If anything, you're spending your time outside,' He went on, hoping that he'd find her just outside her home, idly walking about the overgrown patches of green as a tranquil pastime.

' I hope that you are...' He added.

Within her encasement, Lou floated calmly, rolling her little body into a small spin that expressed playfulness, showing that she knew just where he was headed. She couldn't properly voice it, but he just knew she felt elation. A little gurgle fell past her lips as she continued to wiggle, making him softly chuckle, "You too huh?" He asked the child in the glass, smiling weakly at the show of joy, his face which had until then only showed restlessness, giving out a little glow of joy,

'You missed her too,' He mused, knowing that even if she couldn't understand, it didn't take away from her ability to feel.

She felt love as well.

She felt longing.

She felt the connection that was there too.

"Don't worry: We're almost there," He assured his BB, trying to find ease himself, desperately trying to focus on the wonderful feeling that always came as he reached her, itching for the same sweet high it always brought.

'Just a little more (f/n).

I'm almost there,'

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Right from the start, he'd felt on edge, an unsettling unease wedged within the cracks of his heart, and it only spiked furthermore as he approached the home, realizing that the perimeter around the area was off.

The system that kept her home safe was shut off, and the realization caused his slowing steps to once again pick up, his legs moving in quick strides to reach the usually sealed off passage, stopping before it with a halted breath.

"It's wide open," He said lowly, a cold sweat falling down his brow as he gripped the arch of the doorway, holding on tightly. His foot rose up, but throughout the motion to move forward he shook, hesitating for a reason unknown to him, but that felt so similar to dread, he took the liberty to call it just that.

'I should have stormed in there by now...' He told himself, swallowing down thickly, readying his voice, trying to find it before he called out to her.

'But if I don't find her...

If I don't find her...

...What then?' He wondered helplessly, suddenly feeling weak as all of the turmoil of before that he desperately tried to fight off snuck its way into him in that very instance, hitting him with full-force.

'Where do I even begin?' He asked himself, the weight of his heart becoming unbearable as he then thought of one person, the very being that had made it his goal to make his life hell.

He thought of the devious, triumphant grin that would be out on display as he took her captive, finding yet another way to make the porter suffer.

'I never wanted to put you in harm’s way.'

"- Hey!" he said out loud, his two hands circling over his mouth as he spoke, calling her name soon after, "(f/n), you in there?" He boomed out, not receiving a reply that would calm the panic that brewed within his being.

"(f/n)! Answer me! It's me, Sam!" He exclaimed before his hand went back to the doorway, his hand tightly clutching the arch, the bruised limb crying out with pain at the unneeded force.

"(F/n)!" He said again, taking in a large breath, hearing nothing in return but the echo of his own desperate voice. With a vicious bite to his own lip, he strode forward, pushing past the cold shivers that raked him.

Once inside his eyes roamed around the walkway which led further into the home, finding nothing out of place, with not a single sign of struggle visible, and somehow it made the situation all the more distressing.

'There's not a thing out of place...' He thought to himself, knowing that the only thing that felt wrong was the dreadful vacancy of the home.

No happy Chirp welcomed him in.

No smiling, brightened face was set before him, and in that very moment, every little bit of sweet memory he had of her came to him, hitting him all at once with a powerful vengeance for daring to suppress any of it in the past. He thought of every little quirk she had, the same ones that brought a smile to him and then, if that weren't enough, he thought of her final message to him, the very one he'd only just found the courage to read,

As his eyes skimmed over the first few words, he felt his heart fasten, only imagining how the words would form when she uttered them. He'd thought about it so much, even fantasized about it that it wasn't so hard to imagine.

He envisioned the sweet curve of her lips as she said them to him, doing so just before she leaned into him with her beautiful (e/c) colored eyes shut tight, pretending that nothing existed aside from the sweet touch of their grazing skin. A crumbled nation wasn't in his hands to yet again connect, and instead, in it's place was the (h/c) haired young woman, gazing up at him with the same loving eyes she'd given him right from the start.

"I Love you," He read, repeating words that he'd long refused to ever utter, and hadn't fathomed to find meaning to ever again, not since his first love.

Whilst musing he was then halted at the sound of a familiar voice that addressed him, begging for attention.

"Sam?" It called out to him with astoundment, and at the sound of the dreadful, mocking tone, the porter's heart sank.

The Bridges's porter froze, his blue eyes set wide as he turned his head to gaze at a rather familiar face while the man it belonged to gleefully waved to him a though they were old chums in contrast to vicious foes.

The hologram that appeared before him urged him closer, his index and middle finger repeatedly curving in a fashion that beckoned him closer as though he had a little secret to tell him and it couldn't be revealed until he was near,

" I don't believe it...So...THE Sam bridges finally has the time to make his way here..." He started off, shaking his head with disbelief, "That's good to know, " He added, nodding in approval that slowly turned sour,

"I was starting to think you'd never show up," He admitted with a short mutter. "I was starting to think you forgot how to even make your way here."

"But here you are...Just ... a little too late Bridges," Higgs said while offering Sam a mock look of pity, lightly tilting his head to the side as he pressed his lips together tightly,

"So close..." He went on, pinching his fingers together, shaking his head all the while, " You were this close...So, So close if it makes you feel better," he said while pressing the digits tightly together. "You missed me by just thisss much, so we'll have to catch up another time I suppose," he said with a small shrug,

" -But before I go," Higgs said while raising up his index wagging it while nodding his head as though he'd remembered something very important, " Before I go, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine...An extra special little woman," he started a growing smile stretching his lips into a devious little curl,

"- And no, I'm not talking about your precious Amelie," He clarified.

" You've already met her, but just for the hell of it I'd like to introduce you two again," he went on before releasing a small, warm chuckle, " But I can't be too loud," he then whispered, dropping his voice down to a low breath, a gloved finger pressed to his lips,

"You see...she's asleep right now," he explained," The poor, little Angel is just so tired," he added with a blue, little sigh, which of course was all a part of his show.

"And I wouldn't want to wake her up right now," He clarified.

Just then, the image before him altered, showing not only the tall male but also capturing the image of the slumbering woman, perfectly pictured just as Sam remembered her.

It was then that Higg's gloved fingers ran over the (h/c) colored strands that fell over her face, the tips of his fingers barely grazing over her cheek as he softly moved the hair aside, each movement being gingerly sweet,

" She looks so lonely when she's this vulnerable." The short-haired male mused aloud, saying just what came to mind without a second thought. " I've had hours to stare at her like this and I still can't get over how sweet she looks," He added.

"She's breathtaking," he said while pausing for just a second,

" Isn't she beautiful?" he asked Sam, eyes looking out to the man as though he was really there, staring him down, searching for the truth. " Do you think so?" He asked with curiosity, " 'cause I think she is... I think she's damn gorgeous!" He revealed, "- A real beauty queen !" He then exclaimed strangely enough sounding prideful in the matter,

"...And she's just the sweetest," he added a soft sigh leaving him, seeming to be genuine with the admittance. "She's so sweet..." he persisted, "...So damn sweet, " he pressed on, for just a second biting his lower lip as though he were speaking of a sweet little sugar cube laying on the flat of his tongue,

"How'd you hold yourself back Bridges?" He then asked the other man, all while marveling at the sleeping woman with eyes that were unchanged from their memorized, longing state.

" 'Cause I can't keep my hands off of her," He divulged, "And it's much harder when she makes the cutest little sound when you touch her here," he said while trailing his fingers down the trim of her nightgown which ended right at her midthigh, the light, ticklish touch willing an airy, little sigh past her lips.

And at the little chime, Higgs visibly shivered, delighted of course,

"See what I mean?" He pouted, "It's like she wants me to keep going," He gloated, "But I'll just wait till later, because well, you know me, I'm a gentleman, " He proclaimed.

"With all the more reason I can't just leave here; Alone without anyone to protect her," He said with a shake to his head,

" ...without anyone to look out for her, ...without anyone to make her feel happy and loved," he added, not speaking about the breakdown she had before, but remembering it very clearly.

Of course, he adored their proximity during then. It'd been his dream to have her so close, but it'd broken his heart nonetheless, shattering the small fragments of heart he still had left.

"Such a sweet, little angel has to be tucked away, and it’s a damn same, right?" he asked Sam,

" I think It's criminal, but not much more than you hiding her away: keeping her hidden from me," Higgs said accusingly.

" I know you tried," Higgs said with mock pity. " That is why you left her heartbroken, right? " The other male questioned the Bridges porter.

"All because of little, O'l me," he added, bringing his right hands to his chest, seeming prideful with that fact. "I'm such threat to you that I'm flattered," he added with a grin, " Really ... I am," he said while chuckling, showing amusement for just a minute, when, suddenly the expression faltered, his eyes stuck on the woman instead, eyeing the state of her face as she was dozing.

'She's so damn beautiful,' He thought to himself. 'No...she's more than that. She's just precious.

You just don't belong here.

- Not in this shitty world. '

" She says she loves you so much..." Higgs started, biting his lip harshly, his hand running over his short hair, going back until his palm fell over the back of his neck, "Fuck," he sneered, " Fuck... you should just see the look in her eye when she talks about you..." he added shaking his head as he released a burst of deep, rumbling laughter.

He felt so envious over the way she'd spoken about the porter, yet, even then he made sure to engrain the sight of her beautiful face as she glowed, her eyes having little stars in them as she poured her heart out to him.

And it was so conflicting to have such a mix of emotions swaying him from bitter to sweet, every bit of him strum on every word she uttered no matter how much it scathed him.

" She says you're a hero," he started, "Get this; The guy who ditched her on her own is a hero," he added with disbelief, huffing out a bitter scoff,

' Asshole, she had only two days of supplies left when I got here; At best a fucking week if she stretched it out and starved herself, barely scaping onto life. You know damn well that only you can make your way up here.'

He thought with spite, wondering just how she could love a man that would starve her and leave her to die.

" Oh and get this," Higgs went on, " she says you're handsome...so damn handsome, you know? " he added while roaring with the same laughter.

"Her eyes belong to you," He informed the other man, detesting the fact.

'That ... and so much more.'

He'd sat through all the praise while suppressing every bit of envy he felt, hearing out just how lovingly she spoke of Sam, having had to swallow all the bitterness that he tasted.

"She'll go on and on about how blue your eyes are, or how you're greasy hair looks so so soft to her," he added while hacking in disgust. " she says she wants nothing more than to have you right there with her, laying next to her right now in fact," he said sitting down next to the woman, occupying the space that would be for the long haired brunette. " - To lay here ... right beside her every night, just to wake up face to face, cuddled up for warmth, " he said under his breath, his face slowly shifting from the lovestruck gaze to itching madness, He shuttered, visibly shaken as he glanced down at (f/n),

'You look so lovely sweetheart,' he mused, '

Just perfect.

And you need someone better than him.

You deserve so ....so much more.'

" It's all so lovely... it makes me sick." He said lowly, " I want to vomit every time she mentions you like your some sort of God," He continued, "Like you're the only thing in the world that has any meaning."

"- I can feel it travel up my stomach," he said darkly a hand falling to his abdomen as it bubbled, "And I just don't understand," he said down to the woman, seemingly speaking to her instead, his attention moving to just her.

"I don't understand why you would fix your eyes on him," he told (f/n), his fingers grazing over her lips, tracing them devotedly,

'When I'm here. When you know damn well you and I... We have something sweetie. We have something deeper...'

" Tell me, Sam, exactly why did you leave?" Higgs asked, genuinely curious because he'd seen so much sorrow fall before the woman he just had to know. He had to give her an answer. " was it because you really, really just didn't want to see her again?' He asked, insulted by the possibility of him rejecting what was possibly the perfect woman.

-Of course, he didn't want her in his arms, but even then, how dare he reject her?

How dare he throw her aside like she was some no one?

" or was it because loving her made you so sick to your stomach... if you could just see her again you'd just-" stopping, Higgs hung his head, huffing, knowing he was growing too passionate,

" You'd just lose control, " He finished in a low, shaky breath,

'because I'd understand what that's like.

I wouldn't blame you for that...

It's hard not to jump on her.

It's difficult to even be in the same room without wanting to caress her and spoil her rotten.'

" or was it because you were being considerate..." He suggested, " Was it because you couldn't bear to see this little face crying and tearing up?" He asked.

" - Is that also why you didn't look at her?

Why you simply walked away and left her sobbing?"

He questioned the other man, informing the man of just what happened after he departed, letting him know the pain he caused her.

"She cried for hours," he said while sneering, a hand pressed to his chest because he remembered that the day it all happened, he'd felt it. As crazy as it seemed he'd felt the pain echoing in his very chest. Even while he wasn't aware, he'd felt it and just knew it was his darling. He knew it was her heartache being shared with him.

" She told me... She let me know how you broke her heart..." He growled, then speaking of her confessions to him,

" And the least you could have done is said your goodbye," he added while scowling.

"Send her an apology.

Tell her it's over...

Do something for her instead of the other way around and making her wait for you to come back like an abandoned dog !" He barked accusingly.

' He took advantage of you.

He took your kindness, Your devotion and paid you back half- assed.

And you still love him.

You still respect him.

You still waited for him.

- And you're problobly dreaming of him now. '

" Don't get me wrong... I get it. I get that your a weak man," he said with understanding, hazardously glaring straight towards Sam,

' I get it...

But the difference between you and me Bridges?

I held her.

I fucking comforted her, and I made her feel me there.

You?

You NEVER touched her.

You walked away.

You're a fucking coward.

You made her cry.

You broke her down, something I would never do...

And I’m the bad guy, right? '

"It's actually funny because even if you turn away, it still happens.

Even if you decide to cower your damn face away and not look at her cry those seemingly never-ending tears they still fall and I can taste them.

I can taste each and every drop, and let me tell you; there's so fucking delicious." he admitted,

' I adore every bit of her.'

" I'm just left wanting more." He added. "I won't lie to you Sam, Why should I?

We’re at the point we’ve become well acquainted with each other.

- I'm addicted to her, " he said with a passionate assurance,

" And I'm not ashamed to admit it," he said.

"So much that I just can't share her with you anymore. I can't keep letting you hurt her. And I sure as hell can't leave her out here to fend for herself. " He rambled on,

" So don't worry about it. I'll take good care of her.

So much so, that I'll make sure she doesn't feel lonely a single day of her life...

What's left of that at least." He finished off with a little hum.

"You're welcome by the way.

I say that because you should be happy to have her taken her off your hands. I mean; you don't have to worry about her anymore, because she's fine where she is.

So just focus all of yourself on Amelie alright?

Just give your all and make mommy proud, Bridges,” He suggested. “ Make America whole! " He said with widespread arms a loud roar of laughter escaping him, not disturbing the sleeping woman as she stayed stuck in her sleep. "While me and (f/n)?" He said while a little smile fixed itself onto his features as his entire face softened down,

" You'll see me again, but her..." He said whimsically, trailing off.

“Well...(f/n),”

He started while his hands slid beneath her body, holding her princess style, her head leaned just beneath his chin before he spun with her in his grasp,

"She's just where she needs to be."

Through the entirety of the message, the standing male's heart was tightened, jabbed until it was heavily bleeding.

And he had only one thing in mind:

" I have to find her,"

Next Part : What I Have To Do

97 notes · View notes

danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Death Stranding | Open Heart

Pairing : Higgs monaghan X Reader // Sam Bridges x Reader

First Part: Stay // pt.1

Previous: Sweet Façade

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Wordcount: 3704

He’s going by an alias, obviously and I thought I'd do a play of his alias as well.

Little Fact: The name (alias) "Peter Englert" is a combination of the names of theoretical physicists Peter Higgs and François Englert, who together won the 2013 Nobel Prize in Physics for the discovery of the Higgs mechanism.

So Higgs Peters? Just for the sake of keeping his first name.

Open Heart

She placed a small mug before him, the sweet scent of warm tea gently wafting into his nose as it sat on the surface of the small table. With a small, placid smile he accepted the generous offer, tentatively placing his hand onto the warm cup, watching her sit before him, an identical mug in her hand as she took her place.

" So..." He sounded out, "You're here by yourself, correct?" he asked her, already knowing the answer, but just making conversation with her.

He just loved the sound of her voice, and he wanted to hear it sound forever, furthermore, he absolutely lived for their little moment together, willing to stretch out the vicious storm for weeks if it was necessary, all to have the fortune of seeing her every day.

'If I could spend everyday with you like this...just you and me...I wouldn't miss a beat.

I wouldn't hesitate to take the chance, '

"Oh yeah," (f/n) replied nodding before taking a small sip, an almost unnoticeable smile overtaking her as she got a taste of her beverage.

“It Get’s lonely, huh?” he said while offering her kind blue eyes, truly feeling sorry for her, because he just knew what it felt like to be disconnected, all in all, he knew what lonely silence was like.

She chuckled wearily before giving him another nod, " Yeah,” She breathed. “It does...but...” She then said, raising her eyes to him, looking certain, “ I've gotten used to it,” She mused, “Well, at least that's what I keep telling myself,” She added with a halfhearted, little chuckle.

“ The thing is though, It's been raining so much…” she sighed, notably disheartened, “ I don't know what's going on, but it seems like there is this dark cloud looming over me,” she admitted, having seen such little sunshine she felt as though she was an unfortunate, little bloom, slowly wilting while left in the darkness.

“If anything this awful weather is what's making things unbearable,” She added with falling shoulders.

Occasionally she’d step out and enjoy the sunlight, but within the last few weeks, it hadn’t been something she had the fortune of enjoying, instead being stuck within the underground home, held hostage within the place she should feel her safest.

"I have noticed that things around here have gotten pretty hectic," he commented, "Have you been getting supplies?" he asked her, receiving a declining nod,

"No, and truth be told, I'm starting to grow really anxious about it." She responded back, " But as I said, it's been hell around here.” She said with understanding, knowing just why no one else had bothered to come through,

She took a small moment to clear her throat before she seemed to lift in spirits, but only by a tad bit as she continued , “As I mentioned before, You're actually the first person to actually make it up here in a long...long time," She admitted, offering him a sweet smile, a little shine to her eyes that made him melt and want to reach out for her.

She seemed to glow, her appreciation seeping through, overruling both her great concern and her lonesome sadness altogether, “And you have no idea how much I appreciate it,” She added.

" - I don't really blame anyone for not even bothering to make the trip, " she began to explain, " I mean, this rain won't let up. And I’d hate for anyone to …” stopping herself she shook her head, a tight bit to her lip while her hands that lay over the table balled up, fisted until they became uncomfortably tense, lightly shaking with the force,

“I’d hate to cause anyone harm, which is why I just couldn't let you go back out there,” She admitted, slightly hanging her head as she confessed to him her reasoning.

All in all, she couldn’t bear to bring another person harm.

‘Oh sweetheart,’ He thought to himself, daring to reach his gloved hand up to hers, covering the shaking fist with his palm.

At the light touch, she suddenly jumped, looking at him with wide eyes, the young woman having grown startled at being startled, prolonging her state of surprise.

Retracting his hand, he grimaced, “shit, I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I didn’t mean to,” he said while holding both his hands up, “Please forgive me, I didn’t mean any harm by it, I swear,” he insisted, looking wholeheartedly upset.

Suddenly standing, she shook her head, “ No, no, no,” She repeated, “I’m the one who’s sorry,” She went on while being embarrassed, her face glowing while she released a small, cute giggle.

“- I know you didn’t mean any harm by it,” She said while still being notably flustered,

‘It’s just its been a really long time since anyone has reached out for me,’ She mused, feeling silly for fidgeting over the harmless contact,

‘You must think I'm such a fool, ‘ She thought to herself, not knowing just how much her sweet, demure nature was affecting him.

“- Anyways, Come on,” She encouraged him, nudging her head to the side, signaling it towards the hall, “ Let me show you where you can stay, I’m sure after a whole day of traveling you want a nice, warm shower, “ She suggested, knowing that if she were in his shoes she’d itch for a warm wash.

“Or maybe some sleep?” She inquired, assuming he must have been tired after traveling up the trail, “In the meantime, while you relax I can make something to eat. '' She told him with a happy, little clap, the offer making him smile gently, taking in how exited she seemed.

‘ Baby girl… with you taking care of me like this… I might just fall more in love,’ he thought to himself, following her as she walked along the small passage, soon reaching a decently sized quarter,

“This is a pretty nice room,” he told her as he walked through the doorway, “ - A little too nice to be lending it out to just anyone,” he observed, his eyes slowly trailing over the room, finding himself directly gazing at a Synchronization incubator,

. "...Almost As though it already belongs to someone already," he added, feeling somewhat spiteful as he glared at the personalized space.

His mind wandered, knowing she lived alone, and that the only other person who visited was the other Porter.

And he could easily put two and two together,

‘ You're doing too much for him sweetheart.

You’re making me so, so jealous,

Oh you sweet angel…If only you knew how much this hurts me,’ He went on, swallowing down the words, knowing that it wasn’t really her fault.

Because all in all, she wasn’t aware, so how could she know she was hurting him?

“Oh,” she replied back, her pretty smile becoming lukewarm, “ you think so?” she asked, scratching the back of her neck with a rather nervous chuckle, almost like she’d been caught in a white lie.

“ Yeah,” he replied back, eyeing her, watching her every move, every little tick she had, memorizing it all.

“I just have the feeling ; so does it?” he pressed on, still seeming playful and sweet while he secretly interrogated her, “I don’t want to pry, but I also wouldn’t want to impose,” he went on, justifying himself, playing the part of the perfect, considerate guest.

"-Well, to be perfectly honest, yeah,” she answered him with a little pouty smile, barely recognizable as an actual show of happiness, “... but, I'm pretty sure he's not coming back in a good while, so I don't think he'd mind at all, ” (f/n) said while fluffing the little pillow on the mattress so he could be comfortable.

“Just for the time being...” she murmured.

“- Who’s not coming back?” He asked her with a mellow, little mutter of his own, noticing how she stopped altogether, a vacant look in her eye before she shook her head to come back to, letting a little smile overrule the small bit of seldom that attempted to take claim over her features,

“He…” She started, not knowing how to put things, taking a little nibble of her lip as she tried to properly gather her thoughts,

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” Higgs told her, not wanting to force her into saying anything.

Granted he wanted to know, but not at the expense of her sweet, little grin.

‘ I want to make you smile.

I want to make you happy sweetheart,’ he silently told her.

“ I'm not trying to pry or anything. I’m just trying to make conversation, and also avoid any inconvenience. “ He explained to her, “But it seems like it’s a sensitive topic,” he observed out loud, “And I don’t want to force you to tell me anything, or make you uncomfortable,” he told her.

“So there's no need for you to share,” He told her, making it clear that he was giving her options and he wasn't demanding anything from her.

She could literally feel her heart unwind, for a reason unknown to her feeling light, a great part of her wanting to share with him.

“ You’re welcome to ask,” she voiced out with a small voice, “ it's just... I haven't had anyone to really talk to, so it’s hard for me to put the words together without it feeling strange" she admitted.

"Or without feeling stupid," she added with a little grin, one that made him crack a small smile of his own.

" So ...umm … well,” she then said while contemplating look crossed over her, “There is this one Porter who comes around very often... or at least he used to," she began to explain, "I'm so used to seeing him, but lately… well...it's been about a little over a month now since he’d visited, " she added with notable melancholy, clearly missing the man she spoke of,

" But… But I know he's alright!" She suddenly chirped, the idea of him doing well immediately perking her up, because she wished nothing but the best for the man, regardless of where they stood in their relationship,

- or in this case, lack of.

" Going strong!" She said with a triumphant grin as she looked at the porter before her. “And I’m just so proud of him…” She added with a little murmur, her little grin twitching.

' That was expected...I suppose,' he thought to himself as he watched her stretched out smile, seeing the rollercoaster ride that was her emotions.

He just wanted to reach out to her, coddle her like the precious little thing she was, tell her that everything was alright, because her expressions were making it hard for him to just stand there and watch her,

" The last time he was here, I offered him this room.” She confessed, and it had been as he assumed, and though he’d had a hunch, it still scathed him,

“Yeah?” he breathed.

“Yeah, I actually had it set up just for him." She admitted, her face touched by a soft, innocent color, one Monaghan stared at with austounment because it was something he desperately yearned to have the ability to cause.

" I wanted him to be safe, You know? I wanted him to have a place to rest; I wanted him to have somewhere where he can relax because I know how hard his life is.” She started, the first part of her tale sounding so full of hope and love, it touched him.

“ I care about him more than I should.” She admitted, sounding somewhat ashamed, yet certain about her declaration.

'I love him, ' She silently admitted it, not needing to say so, because the other man could already assume.

" The first time I met him was a couple of months back, he'd made a delivery for me; A very simple one, it being just a couple of little trinkets I had ordered." She started, looking whimsical as she thought of the fateful day, " he got them back to me in one piece, not a single scratch." she said recalling the event, sounding just as astounded as she’d been that very day,

" And you can imagine: I was so amazed, absolutely astonished when he got them all here.

Hell, not even the container itself had any damage!" she added with stun.

“ The first time I met him I was so impressed and I guess I was also taken by him too,” She went on, sounding so cute to the brunette male, “ In the past, I've had a couple of Porter's come by now and then.” she told him, “ they often make small deliveries for me but with Sam?

With Sam, It all felt so different.

I wanted him to stay with me.

I wanted to hear more of him.

I desperately yearned to travel at his side, though I know very well it's not idealistic, I wanted to accompany him every step of the way.

It's silly...

But a girl in love… she can only dream ," She mused with a whimsical, little sigh.

"Sam... Sam’s... not like anyone else." She said breathlessly, a glazed look falling over her, one that was painfully lovesick.

"Sam… " Higgs mumbled, repeating it back to her.

" That wouldn't happen to be THE Sam Bridges everyone is raving about, would it?" He asked her, interested, making it seem a though it’d been a far stretched inquiry.

At his question, she became notably stiff.

He could see her hands hold onto each other, wringing each other uncomfortably as she licked her lips,

'I know dear, but just tell me more,' he mused, watching her with his heart running so fast it could catch fire.

‘ Tell me everything, open yourself to me.

- Just Trust me’

Chuckling she showed off a cute touch of pink to her cheeks, finally mustering up the will to answer,

“You’d be right to assume,” she affirmed.

“ Sam…what can I say about him?” She asked herself, not knowing just where to begin, having so much to say about the man, too much to just go over in just one sitting,“ Sam is quiet, a sad quiet that just makes me want to hold him. He is thoughtful and caring in a way that doesn't beg for anything in return.” she said with the same touch of rose,

“ Sam is handsome in a way only a lonely man can be…” she described the bridges porter while her hand went up to her chest, grazing the spot above her heart.

“He is sweet and it's noticeable...

When he talks to his BB; when he says sweet little words to her...That's when his softness shines through the most. And at those very moments one could easily capture every bit of him that's gentle.” she surmised.

“ And he cuddles her so sweetly, just like someone would their own child...

You know, it’s to a point, I’m actually starting to think he loves it in the same way one would their own child,” she mused, not seeming bothered by the fact , “ But maybe I’m overthinking it,” she added afterward.

“ I could be imagining it, but even then, if that weren’t the case, there is no doubt in my mind that she is precious to him. The fact remains," she said while looking at Higgs Straightforth.

“ Higgs, can I tell you something?” she asked, looking timid to reveal to him the next part, taking his slow nod of approval as a confidence boost to speak,

“ When I see him with her, it just makes my heart beat so fast.” she breathed, “ It makes me wish we...I...” For just a fraction of a second, her hand began to trail down, falling over her stomach, the sight causing Higgs to swallow down hard.

“I wish I could have the opportunity to give him that,” she confessed.

On one hand,

‘You’d look absolutely beautiful,' he thought to himself. 'You'd look just perfect,' he went on, just imagining her in such a state, the thought of her pregnant making his heart warm,

On the other hand,

'Of all people...

Of all things…

Honey... you're breaking my heart.

Your making me so jealous I might snap, ‘

Devoid of any emotion that would give himself away, Higgs continued to simply look at her, outwardly unresponsive to her confession. At his silence and moreso, his expressionless, stoic face she coughed into her hand, somewhat regretting opening up that bit to him,

“As...As I was saying, Sam...Sam has a beautiful heart,” she beamed to him,

“ He has so much compassion in him, despite the way he might seem, there is so much beauty within his chest.

And That's what I love most about him... that tenderness, the one that's not so visible through his words.

Through it all, I love that sweet kindness that's there, but hidden away because he's afraid of something.” (f/n) told the man before her, “ I'm not sure what it is, but I know he's afraid and it makes me hurt.

Sam makes me love but also hurt at the same time," she confessed to Higgs.

“ But you know what? I wouldn't trade this feeling for anyone else, or for anything else in the world." She told him, the admittance shaking his very being because he’d planned to go against it. He didn’t want to take it to heart, wanting to sway her to him instead.

“He...” She mumbled, chewing over the next bit of her tale, “He...”she repeated as she then closed her eyes, hanging her head with defeat as she swallowed up a long, exasperated breath.

" You can tell me everything…" he piped up, the encouragement causing her to slightly melt, a little, shaky breath escaping her, because he let her know that she wasn't troubling him, and that there was no shame in showing him her heart,

“He didn't even look me in the eyes,” (f/n) told him, the information drawing him in, “He spoke so quietly… sounding just as broken as I am now,” she admitted, her eyes slowly growing wetter,

“ Up to date hasn't answered an email of mine. He hasn't even opened the one I sent him…

The one where I told him how much I loved him." she said while taking a seat on the bed, staring down at her hands with a halfhearted glare,

“I….I’d like to think he’d busy,” she said with a small nod, trying to sound hopeful,

“ Maybe he has too much on his mind.

Maybe he’s just too far away right now.

Maybe…

Maybe he hasn’t forgotten about me.

Maybe he’ll come back... He’ll come back and... and until then...I...I can, - “

She rambled, her words jumbling before she released a small, throaty hiccup,

“ I can wait…” she breathed, tears spilling from her (e/c) colored eyes, the streams slowly cascading down her face,

“ I can wait for Sam!” she said with a cracking voice.

The more she spoke, the more her chest ached, her words knotted in her throat as she released a strangled sound that was akin to a short sob, tears falling down her face before she had a mind to stop herself from breaking.

She hadn’t wanted to break, but it was like rolling downhill, once she was going, she couldn’t stop, plundering down the furthermore she went until she crashed down,

" Hey," Higgs said softly, also sitting with her, a hand taking hold of her cheek while the other lay flat on her back, rubbing soothing, small circles,

‘Sweetheart...please,’ he inwardly begged, his face distraught as he watched her break down, her tears not ceasing as she continued to shake, the weight of all her suffrage attacking her full force.

Because it wasn’t just about Sam being gone.

It was about the lonesome years spent isolated.

It was about the endless rain that kept her locked in, trapped.

Moreover, it was the disconnection from a population that should have long been extinct.

In some sort of way, Sam was her connection, her bridge to the world. He was the only thing she had that kept her somewhat sane, fueling her to continue.

She’d decided to accept he wasn’t going to return, but it was much harder than just saying so,

‘Because I have nothing but him...’

Unwillingly, a lonesome tear fell down the right side of his face, falling onto her (h/c) colored hair as he brought her close, her shaking body pressed against his as he forced her still,

‘ Do you know (f/n)... that before all of this happened…

You were meant to be with me?’ He silently asked her,

' Are you aware that our flames are identical?' He thought to himself, feeling her melt, pressed against his chest.

‘ Darling... You're so lonely,

Sweetheart… you’re sadness is contagious to me, ‘

Shakenly, her hands crawled up his back, her stiff fingers trailing up its length before they stopped, holding onto him desperately.

‘Fuck… sweetie… your heartbeat… ‘ he thought while the hand on her back could feel the powerful, erratic pace,

“You alright (f/n)?” he asked her, receiving a hiccup back, her head shaking 'no', the women being unable to put up any type of front.

“ Look at me,” he muttered softly, his hands both falling on to her shoulders, offering her a dazzling smile, “ It’s alright you know?” he assured her, looking deep within her (e/c) colored eyes.

“Everything‘s going to be alright,” he promised her, seeming certain.

‘ You’ll get over him.

You won't miss him

I swear to you sweetie… I’ll make all of that go away.’

He held her, tenderly caressing her while she broke down, the overflowed dam that was her heart shattered as she let loose of absolutely everything that she harbored, for a reason unknown to her trusting the man who was essentially a stranger.

' I swear to you I'll make it all go away...' he thought to himself while finally being able to take hold of her, knowing he couldn't trace back and fall into the darkness again, at least not without her in his arms,

‘Just keep trusting me (f/n)...

Keep melting onto me....

Keep trusting mer...

You feel it too, don’t you?

Don’t worry, once you forget about Bridges, you can focus all on us...’

Next Part : Stolen Princess

68 notes · View notes

danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Death Stranding | Sweet Façade

Pairing : Higgs monaghan X Reader // Sam Bridges x Reader

First part : Stay

Previous: Goodbye

Again, this is just a little direction I want to go; a little idea that pathed it’s own way.

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Wordcount: 3066

Sweet Façade

Small globs of rain descended from the gloomy sky as a calm shower of precipitation stretched out for miles, something which didn't bother the calm male as he coolly made his way into the shelter, brushing off the bits of moisture that stuck to his shoulders with his gloved hands.

“ Package for miss (f/n) (l/n),” the arriving porter said aloud, his voice bouncing off the walls of the safe enclosure as he stepped forward, all while detaching the special package from his backpack,

“Hello? Anyone here?” He questioned loudly before he stepped right before the access terminal, placing his other hand out to utilize it, waiting a total of three minutes before he received a response back,

"Hello?" greeted a woman’s voice, sounding huffy and breathy, having just run through her little underground home to greet him.

Before him a holograph appeared, the moving image of the young, (h/c) haired woman greeting him,

“Did you say package?” She said with surprise, her brows raised high as her eyes seemed peeled wide, “For me?” She added with apparent curiosity, all while pointing a single index towards herself.

At the question, she watched as his gloved index finger trail beneath the letters of her name, sounding them out with a sure nod.

He wore a sweet smile as he addressed her, "(F/n) (L/n), That's you right?" He asked, his liquid blue eyes raised up to her, glued to her artificial image with unmistakable fascination.

Despite the knowing fact that she was simply just a hologram, the porter had trouble straying his eyes anywhere else. Selfishly, he swallowed her whole, not having a mind for anything else but the (e/c) eyed beauty manifested before him.

Oblivious, (f/n) remained calm, not having an idea as to how intensely the man eyed her, nor was she aware of the merriment that shone within his blue crystals as the white cap he wore obscured a good portion of his face.

She did, however, notice his growing smile, and catching onto the subtle curl of his lips she mirrored him, nodding.

Smiling gently in return she responded, “That's me,” she told him with a firm nod, " But I wasn't expecting anything," she said with a bit of confusion, still offering him the pleasant upturn nonetheless.

" Oh?" He said back to her, his eyes finding hers, staring right at her image with surprised, widened orbs. "That's pretty weird, cause the name here is yours," he said tapping the container, " This is also your location," he added as he placed the package down, a sure grin on his face as he waited for her to receive it.

‘You’ll just love it,’ He thought to himself, certain. ‘I just know it...Just like I know you…’

"Ok, let's see," He heard her mutter as she came down to it, inspecting it with the curiosity of a kitten.

She then opened it carefully, not sure what to expect at first.

It wasn’t like she didn’t trust the porter, she had no reason to, but still, she was somewhat skeptical.

‘I didn’t order anything,’ She told herself, ‘in fact, it’s rather strange he’s even made it all the way here,’ She mused, ‘Given the storm and all,’ she went on.

She had doubts, however, the moment her eyes landed on the contents within the secured case, her eyes grew wide, glimmering with absolute joy,

‘Could it be?’ She wondered, swallowing hard, her hand gently skimming over the surface of the hardcovered book.

Stunned, she stared down at the item with stillness before she gave an unexpected jump, a literal hop full of glee that surprised the man,

" I can't believe this!" She said with astonishment , pressing the small booklet close to her chest, twirling around happily. She held it with adoration as she beamed at the porter, unable to hide all the giddiness she felt,

"You have no idea what this means to me!" She said happily.

He watched her, his head slightly cocking to the side as he watched the woman gleam, a joy so sweet and pure worn out on display, that he felt it was a shame not many people could get a chance at such a lovely sight.

He'd never felt his chest hurt so much, and with such sweetness nonetheless,

‘It’s only when I think about you,’ He thought with a shake to his head. 'That's the only time this happens,' He added, wanting to press her hand to his chest so she could feel the heavy bouncing for herself, just so she’d understand how intensely he felt for her.

(e/c) colored eyes seemed so warm and sweet, being windows to a heart he wanted to hold and claim, one that he was certain was deserving of everything lovely the world had left to give,

‘Sweetheart,’ he mused, ‘I’d snatch up what’s left of the world just to give it to you... If it'd make you smile just like that, I wouldn't hesitate.' He silently assured her.

She was like an innocent, little butterfly walking right along his bloodied palm,

careless and free, small and beautiful…

Of course, the lovely, delicate creature didn't know the malicious danger she was in. She was unsuspecting as such, naively crawling over his mercy, trusting in his words and his convincing façade.

He knew who he was, what he was capable of, and with the same little perk to his mouth, he wondered what would take place,

Just how would their love take course?

Would he simply crush her? Unintentionally, would he end up destroying her just as he had a habit to do so to many other things in his life?

‘If you’d be mine, would I somehow ruin you? ’ He thought with a touch of sadness,

Would he adore her so much as to keep her in a glass jar? Far away from everyone else, safely hidden away until only he knew where she was being kept,

‘How long would I have to hide you?’ He wondered, knowing that somewhere along the line he’d be challenged,

‘Eventually, he’ll come looking for you,’ He thought with a little huff of amusement, one so small, the woman had ignored it, not paying it any mind.

‘I know I would. I’d go crazy trying to find you again,’

"Where did you even find this?" (f/n) asked, astonished. " I'd lost hope I'd ever see this again," she said, continuing to hug the small booklet, looking down at the porter with open ears.

“ I know we haven't met personally, but I come here frequently,” He informed her, not entirely lying because he did make frequent deliveries to her as a freelance porter.

However, as of late, he’d been busy with Amelie,

‘And her bullshit,’ He thought annoyed.

In fact, he made sure he was the only one that ever really got through,

‘I make an attempt at it,’ He thought with more annoyance, knowing that somehow, Sam bridges made it through to her,

‘Every...single...time.

Somehow Bridges gets a hold of you.’ He added with disdain.

“Anyways, I was just going along with my normal deliveries and I happened to come across it," he further explained, " I've also got some fuel here for you, seems like it's an old order you'd made a month back that just never made it's way here. I figured I'd drop it off to you, and maybe get the chance to finally greet you," He said with a small chuckle, causing her to release one of her own,

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" She said with true regret evident, even through her little giggle. " Even moreso, Thank you!" she added,

" It's taken too long for us to meet each other then, " She added while shaking her head.

"Entirely," He added softly, agreeing.

Carefully setting the book aside, she continued to happily chat with the man,

"From the bottom of my heart, I'd like to thank you for your service, " She said with gratitude, wishing she had something else to offer him other than a meager ‘thanks.’

"Oh no, no please!" He fretted, both hands set before him, "I don't do this to get praised, you're making me blush," he added, keeping the little grin she wore alive.

“Um, hey, If you don’t mind me asking,” he started, “ what is it? " He asked, sounding interested, speaking in regards to the booklet she'd earlier pressed against her bosom.

"What was in the package? It must have been something real important to you, given your reaction," he said with a hint of tease in his tone.

Glowing pink she bowed her head with embarrassment, thinking of how silly she seemed with her little squealing and twirling,

"I'm sorry you had to see that," She muttered with embarrassment, hiding her face within her hands.

'Are you kidding me?' He thought to himself, 'Baby, you're killing me... being so damn cute with me...'

"If it makes you feel better, it made my day," he said amused, causing her to release a little groan, "Nooo…"

"I'll remember this day for a long time," he added, causing her to throw her head back, "Stop it!" She whined, continuing to laugh.

It’d been the first time in weeks she’d laughed, so much so, she’d forgotten she even had the ability to do so.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," He told her, "but it is a nice pick me up," He added, not lying at all.

"Really?" she said with a placid, little pleasant smile taking over as she settled down from her little fit, "How?" She asked with a shake to her head, wondering how her strange outburst could have ever made anyone's day.

"Defiantly. Being stuck out there in this gloomy weather all day, you're smile feels like the sun," he beamed, causing her face to instantly burn as the words reached her.

"customers like you are the best," he added, loving how easy it was to cause her to fluster. "So I should be thanking you," He continued on, knowing just what he was doing, slipping in little teases masked by convincing innocence.

"Anyways, the book," he pointed out, making (f/n) snap out of her little daze,

" Oh," She said while calming, " This book...It's actually just a mess of things," she confessed, instantly smiling so hard her eyes were squeezed together.

"it's stupid...really," she muttered with the same cute upturn that had him swooning.

The booklet was full of pressed flowers and leaves, along with little pictures she'd taken, as well as a written page here and there that were coupled with meaningless, little doodles on every other page.

It wasn't much, probably worthless trash to others, but a treasure to her, holding memories and sweet moments, all the things she never wanted to forget.

"I guess you could say it's like an old diary of mine," she explained, not going into much more detail before their conversation was interrupted by a loud-sounding crash outside the enclosure.

It was then that a harsh banging sound spread across the field outside, traveling into her home in a violent boom, startling her. A sharp gasp left her as she looked up to her ceiling with a tremor raking her entire body.

Heavy rain continued to fall, all sounding stronger than it had a few minutes prior, and at the recognition of the large, vicious goblets attacking her structure, her gaiety ceased in its entirety, (dark/light) eyebrows creased up with worry as she cringed at the strong downpour that crashed over the roof of her little home.

She could hear it echoing even from her safe enclosure, knowing that just outside, it disintegrated everything it smothered.

'Again with this endless downpour ; Again with another storm, ' she thought with a mix of bitterness and sadness, because yet again she thought of the traveling porter whose name had become infamous now.

Connecting the world…

Bringing everyone together…

Through blood and sweat; Through harsh breaths and slim escape as well, he did it all.

'I hope you're not out there right now… stuck somewhere with those monsters,' she thought with a forelone expression placed over her. 'that merciless rain that takes everything it touches…the same one that won’t hesitate to take you as well,’ she added as she felt her heart race, anxiousness clawing at the walls within the muscle.

'Please...Please be safe,' She thought while a dark cloud loomed over her.

Meanwhile, the man outside watched, his eyes fixed on her saddened expression, his gaze softened as he looked on to what he considered to be a true gem, because even as she began to grow sullen, she was a charming sight,

'Downright breathtaking,’ he thought astounded.

If only he could run his fingers through those strands of (h/c), and not just that, but coo sweet words close to her ear to lure yet another smile from her.

He’d give anything for another one of those wide grins, much more to see the previously settled cute, little color find it's way onto her sweet face.

'Anything,' He thought while lovestruck. ‘ I’d give anything to do so,’ he added.

' But for now, I have to go. ' he thought with a pout, unloading the rest of the lost cargo he mentioned earlier, sending it through to her.

“Well I should be heading off,” he said with a small wave, causing her to stare wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open at his sudden leave.

'The damn storm is picking up,' She told herself, 'And he just up and leaves?!' she added worriedly.

“Hey! Wait Just a minute!” She cried out, her voice laced with alarm, “ Don't tell me you plan on going out there like that," she said with concern, her hand reaching out to him as a natural response despite the fact that they were in separate rooms, not anywhere near for her to grip him back.

He looked back at her with a half-smile, his blue eyes staring dead at her startled expression. Grimacing, he spoke, "I think I don't have a choice do I ? besides it's my job," he told her with dismissiveness towards his own well-being, something that astounded her.

"I had just planned to drop off your deliveries and be off, " He told her, " But I got so caught up talking to you, I lost track of time, " He explained, " I should have left a long time ago!" He said shaking his head, seeming disappointed with himself.

"Anyways, don't worry about me mam," he said pulling up a boyish grin while mock saluting her by using his pointer and middle finger, "You just stay safe," he added, not really wanting to leave, but of course not having any other choice.

It would have been easy for him to simply take her, singlehandedly destroying everything that got in his path from doing so, but he’d decided that with her, he wasn’t taking that risk.

'He's crazy,' (f/n) thought to herself, jumping at a particularly loud clap from outside her thick, protective walls.

She then better lip tightly,

Thinking...

Contemplating…

'What if something happens to him?

What if he gets caught up in that storm? ‘

And much worse,

‘ What if he never makes it back?' She wondered distressed,

'if any of that were to happen, I wouldn't ever be able to live it down,' she told herself.

He bothered to bring back some lost package, something she'd forgotten already, all because he thought it mattered, coming through what were probably the worst conditions to travel, and much more that that he’d been loyally delivering cargo to her for a long time now.

“ Hey…” she uttered softly, sounding small uncertain at first, swallowing the heavy clump in her throat.

“ You can stay here,” she told him, growing more confident, “ There's a vacant room here that you can use,” she added, nodding with more assurance as she saw him halt in his steps.

“ You can use it if you want or, at the very least stay until the rain stops.” she offered, “That's all I ask of you,” she added, hoping he’d accept. "As far as I know, there's nothing out there to hide under...no other shelters in sight either. " she reminded him.

He then turned back to her, a grateful smile adorning him being a mask to hide the snide that lay beneath.

“You’d do that just for me?” he asked her, eyeing the melting worry that was over her face. As he seemed to contemplate the suggestion, she relaxed her shoulders dropping and her (e/c) eyes brightening.

" Please? At least until this clears up," She said lowly, nodding.

“You’ve done enough for me already, believe or not,” she further explained, “ I haven't seen another person in what feels like forever. And I know traveling through this area has gotten very difficult. But you did so...All in order to hand me some lost cargo I had honestly given up on finding." She said astounded,

"Not only that, but you also brought me some essential supplies, " She added.

" You risked your life for me when you could have very well walked away at any given moment, especially when the first storm hit. " She rambled on,

" So please," she said again, clasping her hands together, "Please Stay. Take it as a token of my gratitude seeing as I have nothing more to offer you," She bargained.

‘Truly….Truly I am smitten,’ he thought to himself, all while nodding, pretending to be defeated by her plea.

"Just until then," he said quietly, "I wouldn't' want to impose,"

" But you're not!" She said hastily, "Believe me, you're not!" she said giggling, waving him off.

Eagerly nodding she went to open the door, “ Just come in," she responded back, all of which was a mistake of course, but how was she to know?

How could she have guessed that the man she invited in her home was none other than the same terrorist in the golden mask both feared and hated by mass populations ;

Higgs Monaghan.

She reached out for him, her hand circling around his wrist, tugging him inside, the sudden coldness of the outside world hitting her hard before she was back within the warm safety of her home with him following in suit.

"come on," she persuaded, anxiously as she heard just how vicious the wind blew.

Safely inside he watched her, eyes fixed on the back of her head, the (h/c) hair making his fingers twitch.

They were loose, the (long/short) strands bouncing with each step she took, teasing him with their bouncing movements,

'My dear...sweet... (f/n),' Higgs mused, head over heels for the woman, mad with desire,

'I can't wait to have you all...to...myself.'

Next : Open Heart

A/N: I fixed it. I hadn’t slept for a whole day when i completed this and I just knew I let a lot of stuff slip me. Have you ever been awake, but not awake? It’s an experience.

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danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Follow me| Higgs Monaghan x Reader

Damn that Troy Baker and his little voice of his, as well as Higgs for being so captivating. This game is lit.

Also, could this be romance? I’m really just writing concepts I come up with. Sometimes bullshit stories come to mind.

FUUUUUCCKKK, I already had this thought out and halfway through I realized he wears that fucking pod (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

How could it slip my mind?

Anywhoo..

Everything is pretty understandable, but just a warning,

‘ example’ = Italics in quotations are thoughts

example = Italics W/out are flashbacks

He watched her, downright dumbfounded, eyes trained on the woman like she was a strange phenomenon.

And perhaps she was…

She was out In the middle of nothing, miles way from a single living being , excluding himself of course.

‘ So where did she come from? ‘ He wondered, truly perplexed, because it couldn’t be as though she magically appeared out of thin air.

‘Not a shelter in sight either…’ He observed.

He took a quiet step forward, being cautious in doing so, keeping his eyes fully trained on the bizarre woman the entire time. Though, it seemed as though his alertness was unneeded, because she seemed none the wiser, not knowing he was there to begin with.

Instead, her sights were placed on the little creature crawling along her (s/c) skin. Keenly staring on, she had no mind for anything but the little orange butterfly walking along her index. Meanwhile, the creature itself seemed just as oblivious as she was about any possible existing danger, happily moving it’s thin, little legs over the flesh.

‘ Like only you exist in this world,’ He thought with disbelief.

A small smile began to surface over her features, one that was undoubtedly pretty, stopping his musing, and every question he had in regards to the strange woman’s unexpected appearance.

It was then that the sound of the crackling sky erupted, echoing throughout the field, and as it did, he noticed she came out of her perfect little world.

The young woman gave a small jump and though he didn't hear it, he knew a small sound left her. The abrupt widening of her eyes, along with the parting of her pretty lips, topped with the sudden growing of her chest indicated it.

The little happy butterfly which was on her index finger fluttered away in fleet, leaving her behind to stare at it, not being able to do much but follow it with her (e/c) eyes.

.And then she was truly left alone, with nothing but blue eyes to observe her, marveling at her from a distance.

Standing up from the floor, she began to look up at the grayed sky with her eyebrows creased up, light worry lines on her forehead becoming visible. Inside her mind she began to fret, and finally he got a gimps of what concern seemed like once settled onto her face.

With steady steps she took as she finally rose, walking further from him in a direction that lead to more nothingness, all with notable uncertainty.

‘Are you hoping to find anything?’ He wondered, continuing to watch her, interested in everything she did, wanting to know just where she’d lead him to.

It all felt like a strange dream,a vivid one where he wasn’t tormented, where he didn’t see death , but instead a strange sort of angel, lost in an apocalypse.

In search of something...

She then reached up, her body lightly shaking as another roar erupted from the somber sky.

Afraid, she reached up, challenging extinction she stood her ground,

“Any second now,” he said to himself, knowing that there was only a few more moments left before the Timefall came. Absentmindedly he took a step forward, “If you don’t get out of here...” he trailed off, knowing there wasn’t anywhere she could go.

Knowing just what would happen...

Her palm faced up to the murky sky for a moment, longing in her heart as she reached out to where the glowing sun had become a stranger. And she wondered when she’d see the glowing star, not having seen it during the many hours she’d spent outside already.

The rain then fell, ready to claim anything that it touched. Merciless as always, it lay waste to anything that dared challenge it with existence with absolutely no exception.

A twitch to his heart made his current step falter, and abruptly he stopped, everything else in the world moving in slow motion as he found his eyes locked with the (h/c) young woman.

For just a brief moment she stared at him, having found him in her line of sight as she took a gaze at the world around her.

A cloaked figure stood in her vision, and swallowing down largely she took a daring step toward’s it.

If anyone were to ask him why he did it, he wouldn't have a single, sensible answer as to why he took action, but all the same his deed remained.

He moved faster then he could blink, traveling through the space and reaching her within a second’s time. He encased her within his cloak, huddled over her as he pressed her close towards his chest, pinning the (h/c) woman to him.

It was then that the downpour began, but of course, she was safe, protected within his safe cocoon, her body stiff with the strong press.

It took her a moment to move, being utterly surprised at first before she seemed to settle, her head inclining back as she brought her eyes up to him, once again connecting.

She stared up at him with wonder, her eyes looking large and beautiful, absolutely breathtaking to him as she stood before him. And to his surprise, she didn't squirm, but instead reached her hand up, cupping the side of his mask's cheek before trailing along the sharp edges with the tips of her fingers.

Cold metal connected with warmed flesh, but it wasn’t something that made her draw away either. He could see that dancing within her wide open (e/c) eyes was pure hearted astonishment as she continued to caress the golden piece.

She didn't look afraid, startled perhaps, but not afraid, and it stunned him, shaking him to the core.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her, his voice sounding breathy, but he wasn’t tired.

If anything, he’d never felt more alive.

He could feel it in his chest, a strange feeling invading him and taking over,

‘I can’t stop it,’ he thought to himself helplessly.

Blinking a couple times in silence and confusion she shook her head slowly, answering him with uncertainty, “ I don't know,” she replied, a very soft voice being what graced him. “I'm not sure what I'm doing here,” She added, a gleam to her eyes shining with sadness, replacing the awe that was meant for him.

“ I was here alone,” she admitted. “And I’ve been her waiting,” she added, a fore lone smile coming into sight.

“ I wouldn't be able to tell you with certainty how long I was by myself...simply waiting,” she went on, her hands descending, trailing over part of his chest before coming to the cool glass of his pod.

“...I don’t even know how to determine how long I had been alone.” she said with the same melancholy.

She'd woken up to the barren land, frightened and cold, left at the mercy of the new dark world she’d been dragged into. There was no sign of life, as even her own heart stilled, quieted as it waited in frightened suspense.

“...How long I had waited,” she added lowly, “ I just sat here waiting to die... waiting for either starvation or something to come and sweep me away,” she admitted with dejection and shame.

Initially, she’d screamed out for someone, anyone to save her, but no one called back.

No one went in search of the stranded woman, and so having no choice, she went on her own search.

She walked aimlessly, desperate for a ray of hope to shine upon her, but not even the sun graced her. Instead, it stayed hidden behind dark clouds, the murky sky and it's muted colors being all that lay in her sights.

Finally giving in , she fell onto her knees, surrendering at the game of life.

And then the single butterfly landed on her, it’s little legs tickling her nose as it walked along the bridge.

She didn't know how it ended up there either, and she thought that perhaps it came with her, traveling through the same strange route. It was the only thing that comforted her.

Narrowing her eyes at it she began to smile, abiet somberly,

“could it be that we are alone?” she asked it, not expecting an answer. “Could it be that no one will come?”

“But you're holding me... someone else is holding me...”she said with a tremor touched voice.

And then she questioned him,

"Are you some sort of God? ” she said with partial amusement, “ Or death itself?” She questioned him, seeming mystified by the possibility.

Was such an assumption strange?

Within the barren land someone came to her, appeared before her to hold her. And as though by strange magic he reached her, embracing her.

He was flattered to say the least, an amused chuckle leaving him, “A god?” he asked himself, liking the idea as she spoke,

‘No darling... but I am a partical of God,' he thought to himself with seething pride.

“ What if I tell you that you're right? " he asked her, watching those beautiful eyes sparkle at his response.

While she waited with diminished hope, and as she screamed and as she pleaded, she’d cried.

She cried her heart’s lament, knowing she’d lay to waste.

His hand's gloved fingers fell down her face, the thick, black material grazing her gently, falling down what had been dried tear trails.

‘ She’s been crying...

Waiting...’

" What would you do then?" he asked her his eyes never leaving hers as he found himself unable to draw them away.

He watched as she seemed to contemplate the question,

‘Will you try and run from me?

Push me away...

I want to know...’

She had to know that whatever savior she hoped for wasn’t there. The idea of a knight in shining armor wasn’t befitting for him.

" I'd be afraid," she admitted." I am afraid," she added, not holding back, " But you're the only one here…" she told him, " You were the only one that came," she reasoned.

He could be death itself, and even then she wouldn’t run, she wouldn’t draw back, so, happily, smiling softly with joyous relief she spoke,

"You found me.”

He could feel his heart once again bouncing, like a sort of detector setting off in her presence, “ I guess I've been waiting too,” he said lowly, his voice just a short whisper. And during then, his mask dispersed, leaving her to gaze at his true face and nothing more.

He spoke the truth, despite not realizing before how tangled with her he’d been. But there was no question in his mind that what had magnetized him to the same patch of nothingness she was at was a powerful pull sure to be fate itself.

The trailing fingers stopped, his palms cupping her cheeks instead, holding them dearly. Meanwhile, she reached up again, her fingers touching the dark tears that trailed down his cheeks.

He felt her fingers leave a warm trail where she touched him, effortlessly exiting him as she unexpectedly brushed the digits by the outline of his lips.

Would it be so bad to take her with him?

Would it be so bad to find out more about her?

Discover how she came to be...

Find out just how she came to him...

“Will you come with me?” he asked her, leaning down to her, his lips so close to her flesh as he spoke, “Will you follow me?” he asked, a curl to his lips as he felt her shiver.

Over the flesh of her arms little bumps had risen as she was both startled and exited. Nodding silently, she agreed, planning to follow him till the ends of the world,

which was coincidentally just where he planned to travel with her,

Right to it’s destruction...

‘Looks like I’ve got my plus one,’ he thought to himself, unable to deny the lovely feeling he felt in his chest.

#deathstranding #death stranding fanfiction #death stranding #death stranding x reader #death stranding x y/n #death stranding y/n #death stranding one shot #death stranding oneshot #death stranding reader insert #troy baker #troy baker x reader #troy baker x y/n #higgs monaghan #higgs monaghan oneshot #higgs monaghan x reader #higgs monaghan x reader insert #higgs monaghan x y/n #kojima games

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thepaperpanda · 4 years ago

Text

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~ || Part II

P̵̪̃ȁ̸̩ȓ̸̜ẗ̶͇́ ̴̓͜1̷̺̽

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: None

Words: 3299

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Days had been passing, and the situation remained unchanged.

You were lurking throughout the camp trying to be as productive as it was only possible, however you didn't have many occasions to help in anything as the others were pushing you aside. You weren't surprised though; you were a newcomer, without a purpose or any special skills, and you quickly became Higgs' favourite, which most of his men didn't approve.

Sometimes, it's enough to survive another day, right?, you'd been thinking to yourself.

"Would you look at that? Our little star is doing nothing as always. Why don't you go and be useful? Sucking Higgs off ain't enough here," one of men said grabbing your shoulder. "Why is he even keeping you here?"

Meanwhile Higgs was away, sitting in his bunker. He was trying to come up with some logical theory of how you ended up where you did. How could this happen that you just woken up with no past? “I’ve got breaking news and it’s about you fucking off of me,” you showed your middle finger to the group of men, and in return your gained few chuckles and some more rambunctious comments. When Higgs was gone, they were making a lot of fun of you, always; you hated every minute in the camp without Man in The Golden Mask.

Meantime, Higgs hummed, studding the map and trying to find the place you could come out from. Bridges was the closest point but it made no fucking seans for them to just leave you out there to die.

After a few more minutes Higgs shrugged. "Ah, fuck it. Time to check upon my kittycat." And with that he was back in the camp as he teleported. After stretching his back he called you. "Y/N! Where is my favourite girl hiding?" You were almost outside the camp, sitting at one of the largest rocks, taking notes and sketching the mountains located on the north. You tried to escape from all of the mean glances and comments. “Hey, you,” one of the guards pointed his laser gun at you. “Higgs is seeking you in the camp. Move your ass to him.” With a loud sigh escaping your lips you closed the sketchbook and pinned your hair in a ponytail. While walking back to the camp, you were thinking about your purpose, it was pretty frustrating that you didn’t remember anything even after such a long period of time.

Higgs waited with hands crossed on his chest. He gave you a wicked smile as soon as he noticed you approaching. “Ah! Here is my lady with no past. I was getting fucking worried you are gone."

“Me? Gone? I have nowhere to go,” you replied to him with disarming honesty. “Good to see you, you’ve been gone for a longer while...,” you hesitated after saying this as you knew he’ll assume you missed him. Thanks Beach he didn’t realize yet it was all true.

"My cute deflowered sweetheart missed me," Higgs chuckled softly with a wide smile, showing the line of white teeth. "I missed you too and I was away, indeed. I’ve been thinking from where you came and I may have an idea."

Hearing his words you tilted your head aside a little. “Tell me?,” you asked.

"Well, my little, sexy kitten might be Bridges' property. Am not sure yet but I sure will find out!," He said loudly and shrugged. "I even have an idea how I will do it."

While you were listening to his words, your thoughts drifted in some unknown way and when you gathered your attention, you gave him a brief nod. “I see.” A deep sigh left your parted lips as you glared up at him. “Hey, I’ve been wondering whether there's something I can do around the camp, I hate how others are making fun of me and the fact that my only purpose here is to warm your cock up,” you rubbed your temples. “I can do anything, bring packages, clean, whatever.”

He chuckled at your question. It was simply stupid. "You are here to be by my side. To be a good girl," Higgs said, gently touching your cheek. "Tell me who bothered you and I will take care of this." A shiver ran along your spine as he touched your cheek; his tenderness was light like a touch of butterfly wings yet his fingers seemed to burn marks on your face. “Forget about it,” you asked him quickly as you dared to put your palm on top of his.

Higgs laughed and grabbed your waist, pulling you as close as possible. "Listen I know you might have a soft heart but it's all about the example. So? Which of those fuckers did it?," He asked again.

You licked your lips and bit the lower one as you got stressed. “If you truly care for me, leave it. I can handle as I don’t care,” you asked him once again while wrapping arms around his chest and nuzzling your head to him.

He squezzed your waist and smiled. "Kitten. You forgot who I am. No one dares to hurt what's mine, even with stupid insults," Higgs summed up and gently pushed you aside to walk to the group of terrorits. He smiled softly looking at others. "Okay! Listen up, fuckers. Which one of you was brave enough to throw stupid words at my girl?"

“Oh my God,” you whispered under your breath as you realized what was happening. You followed him quickly and stood by his side, swallowing hardly while your sight slipped over all the gathered men.

“It was me,” one of them stepped ahead from the group, keeping his head produly up. “Listen, Higgs, we all know that you’re the most powerful of us but it’s fucking rude to be the only one who gets laid and who’s allowed to have a girl around. Most of us don’t like her presence as all she does is lurking around, no purpose, no skills,” the guy continued to speak. “Would be better if you sent her away or killed her. No one needs her around, except you. You’re not better than any of us.”

Higgs hummed listening to the complaints. Then he walked in the line, from left to right with his hands placed behind his back. "If I can be honest. She is more worthy than any of you here but…," he said slowly, rubbing his chin, "But you, bastards, you all are fucking lucky. IT'S YOUR LUCKY FUCKING DAY! Because instead of killing you all and leaving your bodies at Bridges doorsteps, I will fix what you all are complaining about," Higgs announced and looked at you.

You frowned a little at his words.

“So? Will you send her away?,” the man asked, his eyes and you.

Higgs wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling your tightly to his side.

"Oh, Y/N, Y/N... You see, these men here are mad at me because I gave you no duties," he let out a loud sigh, petting your hair. "So, from now on, this lovely lady here is my second in command! You insult her - you insult me and trust me fellas, you don't wanna do that. Thank you for the attention, get back to your fucking duties!," Higgs snorted at the men, kissing your cheek, and then walked away like nothing ever happened.

You almost fainted when he claimed you for his deputy. You felt the piercing glances of his men on you and you already knew it would bring even more troubles. After a second of thinking, you ran after him. “Higgs, I don’t think it’s a good idea, I have like… I mean… I’m not as charismatic as you, I can’t command people,” you tugged on his sleeve to stop him from walking. “They already hate me, now it will escalate,” you shook your head. “Let’s face the truth, I’m no one, I have no idea how to… You know.”

Higgs effortlessly picked you up. "If they will, then they will meet the friendly BTs. You are working with me now. Don't worry, I will handle everything."

To support yourself from falling, you instinctively wrapped legs around his hips and nuzzled to his chest. “Thank you, Higgs. You’re doing so much to me when I did so less in return. I have no idea how some people can call you a terrorist or a bad guy. I wish they could spend at least one day around you and I bet they’d agree with me on the fact you’re not only a great, fearless leader but also a charming, caring man.”

Higgs laughed. "I nuked two towns. I want to end the fucking world. No one else but you would like me, dear," he summed up before placing a soft kiss to your rosy lips.

When the evening came, Higgs was positive about his idea. He had to get into Bridges place and dig through their documents. If you’ve ever been one of them, your documents should be there.

"How do I look, my sexy second in command?," Higgs asked, presenting himself wrapped in an old Bridges uniform. "Let's not foeget about the fucking crown," he joked putting the Bridges hat on.

You two were in Higgs' tent. You were laying on your side on his cot resting head on your hand. "You look fucking handsome, as always," you informed him. "This uniform hugs your ass nicely though," you didn't stop yourself from adding. "Are you sure you won't be to assist you? I'm going to be sad while you'll be gone," you slowly sat on the cot.

" I will do it myself. This can't be hard, there is only one lady as sweet as you. I will find it quickly and before you’ll count to ten - I am going to be fucking back," Higgs said improving the belt. "After that, I will fuck you so hard that the whole camp will hear the second in commend screaming under the leader."

A soft chuckle of yours escaped your mouth as the reaction for his statement. "After your return, I'll just take care of you, make sure you eat and drink and later we will cuddle," you told him while getting up. "And if you'll be a good boy, I'll think of a prize." You walked to him and wrapped your arms around him. "Promise me you'll be careful and won't let them catch you."

"Sweetheart. I feel so fucking hurt right now! I thought you have more faith in me," Higgs chuckled and squeezed your cheek playfully. "Don't make your sweet little face worried about it. They will never get me."

When he vanished you circled his tent a few times before taking a seat in the corner, just like you did the first day when he found you in the cave.

Getting inside was a child's play. Who would mind a porter wandering the corridors? Of course fucking no one.

The archives were a mix of papers and computer data. Going through the second thing was easy, yet your face didn't flash on any document, and it was fine.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you weren't Bridges. That would be a fucking relief.

After an hour of digging through papers, Higgs was sitting on the floor with legs crossed. He was reading through one of the folders when the ones he read previously were scattered around him like snow.

The door to the archive slides open and Samuel Bridges stepped in; he had to pick some folders up to deliver them to Lake Knot City. He became suspicious when he spotted a mess and folders laying on the floor. As he stepped further into the long room, he found even more documents scattered everywhere. "You. Who are ya and what are ya doing here?," He asked, his tone cold as he spotted a man sitting in the middle of the room.

Higgs didn't raise his eyes until he was done with the folder he was holding in palms, after reading through it he simply threw it over his shoulder.

"Ah! Sammy boy! It's nice to see you again, sorry but I don't have time for a chit chat. I am looking for something," he shrugged, taking another folder into his hands.

Sam cringed at the sound of the voice, too familiar. It couldn’t be a coincidence. "Higgs? What the fuck?," He asked in disbelief as he walked closer to the other man. "How did you... Ah, right. You jumped through the Beach," Sam replied himself. "Leave it," he pulled the folder out of Higgs' hands.

"You are a smart boy, ain't ya?," He laughed and in another folder he saw your photo.

"BINGO! Here you are, sweetheart!" Higgs said loudly and jumped back to his feet. "Tell me, Sammy boy, do you know anything about a particular porter? Her name is Y/N?"

Sam blinked, he was getting more confused with every second. "What's your problem, Higgs, have you fallen in love? Ah, right, it's hard to make connections when you don't have a heart," Sam grinned wryly at the other man. "Even if I know, I won't tell you, that's not your business since the day you and the tide has turned. Give it back," Sam yanked the hat off Higgs' head.

Higgs laughed and rolled his eyes, tucking your folder under his suit to make sure Sam won't get it. "Well! To your surprise I fell in love. Just like you. Well! But you’re not in love anymore. I bet that wife of yours was beautiful…," He mocked walking around Sam. "But she was blind for taking a chance on ya."

Sam reacted instantly with aiming his first at Higgs' cheek. "Apologize, you useless fucker, and give me the fucking folder back."

Higgs only laughed at the reaction. "Wife and unborn child. Such a shame, maybe that is why you are so sad and grumpy, and developed this phobia of yours," Higgs laughed playfully. "You know what? I like you, you can keep the cap. I have few from the old, good days. It was nice to see you again, Sammy boi!," Higgs licked the tip of Sam's nose before disappearing.

Sam tried to grab Higgs by his Bridges uniform but he didn't manage. Cursing under his breath he quickly left the archive without picking the folder he came there for; he had to inform Deadman about the situation.

You were dreaming about some crazy ass things like dolphins trying to pull you under water when Higgs returned. You were still sitting in the corner of his tent, knees pulled under your chin, your arms wrapped around them as you were rolled in a ball.

Before entering the tent, Higgs took a brief look at the info about you gathered in the folder he stole. He wasn't sure what to think. After entering the tent he looked at you and chuckled quietly, getting on your level by crouching. Higgs brushed hair off of your forehead and placed a kiss there. "Ding ding, ding! Honey, I am home. Where is my promised dinner?"

You jolted in place, your muscles twitched and you almost screamed. You opened eyes and for a brief second they were getting used to the light of the lamp. When you saw him crouching next to you, you knelt and wrapped arms around his neck, pulling him into the tight hug. "Higgs! I dreamt they got you! I was so... Scared! You're back! Holy Beach, I was so scared." As you were hugging him he could easily feel the beat of your racing heart, even though your suit. "Let me bring you something. I tried to get you pizza but... I failed."

Higgs hugged you tightly, holding you with both arms. "Well, maybe it's because you slept on the floor. I didn't get these fancy pillows and blankets for nothing," he chuckled, rubbing your back. "It's okay, sugar. I will make Sam deliver us some. Look what I got," he said proudly, showing you the folder.

You shivered. "Is this... Is this mine?," You asked him as you sat on the floor. "Who am I then?," You made puppy eyes and looked right into his.

"You are a porter apparently. Ex now, technically. Good one," Higgs summed up. “Y/N. Working for Bridges for 5 years. Fast and careful with her deliveries, open for contacts with clients as well as fellow porters. Went missing in action. Y/N delivered the assigned package yet never made it back to any of the existing facilities. There were no voidouts that could mean her death. No body nor evidences were ever found. Investigation in that case brought nothing, so Y/N is presumed dead but there's still a slight chance of her being still alive. Signed by: Director Die-Hardman," Higgs ended reading the last note in your folder.

You nodded. "So... They're not looking for me... So, in this situation... I can be whoever I want because I think they wouldn't let me get back..."

"It's not that you are kicked out. I bet that as soon as you would get to any of their places, they would take care of you. They think you are dead but with a possibility of return," he explained. "Y/N? I need to ask you something."

You looked at him like a kid would look at the parent. "Yes?"

"Is this a hoax? I walked into Bridges without problem and then? I get fucking Sam Bridges into the archive. My people were doing their job and you come out of nowhere. You don't know who you are yet you cling to me so suddenly," he said with a frown. "Is this a trap? Did they send you to get inside? To get to me?"

You lowered your head. "Even if they did, I don't remember. I told you many times, I have no idea how I found myself outside, all alone, only with a backpack. I'm clingy because... I...," You started blushing so you got up to take a seat on his cot. "You showed me affection, you offered me your generosity, hospitality... You were kind when no one else was. You took care of me and kinda taught me how to survive in this shit."

Higgs joined you on the coat. "You promise me that the note, and your lack of memory isn't just a way to get to me?"

"I cross my heart," you assured him with a serious tone. "I don't care what you have done and why do they want to get to you but God's my witness I won't tell anyone about you." The fact he even could think about you being a spy hurt you much but you kept a straight face.

"I am sorry for accusing you for anything," Higgs whispered into your ear before pulling you on his lap. “Ya know, gotta be careful about some certain things.”

You nuzzled to the crook of his neck. "It's okay, I understand, I would be suspicious too if I were you."

Higgs smiled, playing with your hair. "My little porter," he said with a smile. "Only mine."

You inhaled his scent, the sweet mix of a masculine musk and warmth of his skin. You placed a kiss to his bearded cheek and brushed your against his shortly after. Your arms wrapped around his chest. "Thank you for all you've done to me, for keeping me safe."

"And I will keep on keeping you safe. Not a single fucking Bridges will ever lie a finger on you again. You will stay with me till the end of the world we know," Higgs said, squeezing you tightly.

A sad sigh escaped your lips. "Till the end."

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